This story by author Supermoi, sent to my attention by Topless Roboteer Pangaea Ultima, is… very special. It’s also not short, so let’s get right to it.
Starscream was sitting restlessly on the couch of the quarters he was now sharing whit is leader – and for a couple of month’s now – bondmate. He had a datapad in his right hand and was trying – and failing – to concentrate on it. It was some reports from his fellow Seeker that he had t read and filled, as well. But it was boring him out of his mind…
Paperwork… You can’t live with it and you can’t live without it either…
What the fuck? Decepticons do paperwork? What the hell would that even consist of? Does Soundwave need to fill out a form every time he puts one of his cassette minions in his chest?
Sighing, the red and white jet threw the padd on the nearby table and leaned back on the couch, on a more comfortable position. Getting comfortable was almost an impossible mission, these days, seeing that he was far ahead in his pregnancy.
BOOM. Starscream got hisself knocked up. I guess Megatron forgot to wear a Protecticon.
In a couple of days, at best, his sparklings would be there…
Being consumed with hate and rage at the use of the word “sparlkings” for “Transformer babies” is the appropriate emotional response here. Keep it going after the jump, because you’re going to need it.
He put a hand on his very swollen abdomen, feeling the little movements of the unborn inside his gestation chamber. He closes his optics, shutting them off, and a little dreamy smile spread on his lips components. After six months of carrying around, getting larger and larger, and in the end being restrain to bed rest and grounded because he wasn’t able to transform or take off the ground, he was impatient to finally hold the triplets in his arms.
I actually had a moment where I wondered why a pregnant Transformer couldn’t transform, and then I imagined a pregnant jet plane. Also, I punched myself in the face for wondering something so stupid.
His sparklings… The thought itself was almost too good to be true. His own little Seekerlets.
That’s a rage-Toht, by the way. My face is melting off in anger.
Hook had confirmed two months ago than he was expecting mechs, and Seekerlets as well. A trine of flyers like their mommy. But the bad side was than being pregnant was a real pain on the aft. He couldn’t fly anymore, and was plagued with pain all over his joints, particularly in the hip and knees. He ad trouble moving around, and was forced to stay on bed or sitting all the time, now.
Attention all writers: If you ever write anything involving the phrase “he was expecting,” where expecting is used to mean pregnant, stop writing, delete the Word doc, break your computer with a hammer, and set the pieces on fire. Thanks for your consideration. Signed, The Written Word
That was starting to drive him crazy. Has a Seeker, he NEEDED to fly once in a while. Being denied, even for the sake of carrying sparkling, was a real torture. His slender and sleek forms were history as well… He was dying to recover his handsome frame as well as his fly capability.
I guess it’s a good thing there are no Decepticons that transform into coat hangers, or Starscream here might have been tempted to get a robortion. And in Rick Santorum’s America, no less!
The door of the quarters was opened and Starscream lift his optics to see his mate coming in. As soon as Megatron saw him on the couch and not on the berth as he would have been, he frowned and came closer to him.
“Did you fill out the proper transferral-from-couch paperwork?”
“You should be resting, Starscream. I don’t want you to exhausts yourself. You do remember what hook told you about moving around too much, don’t you?”
“He told me I was a robot and robots can’t get pregnant and this was all fucking stupid. It wasn’t particularly helpful.”
Starscream pouted, crossing his arms over his oversized belly, and sneered in disgust.
“I don’t give a slag about what that dumb oaf has to say, Megatron! I’m sick of lying on this Pit-Spawned berth all day! I’m not dying, just pregnant…”
This is all infinitely worse if you read Starscream’s lines in Chris Latta’s voice. Which is, of course, why I mention it.
“Don’t be such a pain, Screamer… You must do what Hook had told you to do. He knows what he is doing. All I want is your own good, and those of our offspring’s. Come on; go back to bed, love.”
What goes through a person’s head in order to decide to write this. “Well, men can’t get pregnant, and neither can robots. So I think I’ll write a story about a male robot getting pregnant. Also, Megatron and Starscream have in incredibly antagonistic relationship, so I’ll make Megatron his caring lover and father of his robot babies. It just makes sense, dammit!”
Also, the unbelievable wretchedness of Megatron calling Starscream “Screamer” makes me want to punch a nun.
Megatron offers him his hand and Starscream took it with a defeated sigh. If he could, he had rolls his optics.
OH HE CAN’T ROLL HIS OPTICS BUT HE CAN IMPREGNATE STARSCREAM. THANKS FOR KEEPING THINGS REAL, SUPERMOI.
He knew he was moody and difficult, but he had all rights to be like that! It was HIM who was carrying, not Hook or Megatron! They didn,t have the slightest clue about what he was going through. Megatron took his hand and lift him to his feet carefully, taking much of his weight on him by snaking an arm around his waist. By doing so, he brushed against Starscream oversensitive abdomen and sent shivers of arousal through his frame. Well, Screamer had get horny as well as moody along his pregnancy… The slightest touch could turn him on.
BUT ROLLING HIS OPTICS? WHAT AN ABSURD IDEA
The little moan he let out was proof enough of that, and Megatron grinned a little at that. Even a day or two from delivery, Starscream was still willing to go and interface… He help the heavily pregnant jet down on the berth, and was caught by surprise when Starscream pulled hi alongside, making him lay beside him, and a hand races down Megatron’s sensitive tights, teasing him. He gasped and moaned lowly in arousal as well.
Megatron is wearing tights? And the tights are sensitive? Now this is just getting weird.
“Horny, are we, love?”
“Hum hum… Come here, “Mighty” Megatron…” Purred the Seeker in his lover’s audios sensually, before trailing his glossa along the sharp, hard jaw line of Megatron.
“Did… did you fill out the fucking-while-robopregnant paperwork, dear?”
Responding to the soft, agreeable touch, the silver mech run his digits lightly over the sides and hips of his smaller mate, earning him a deep, lustful moan. His lips locked with his lover’s, Megatron leaned up behind him, sticking his front on Starscream’s backside. Turning his head to the side, the Seeker kissed and licked at Megatron’s neck as he felt slow, sensual caress run up his tights and to his groin, making him overheat quickly.
Seriously, why are the Transformers wearing tights? They’re robots. Robots don’t need pants of any sort. Which is why they’re the next step in evolution.
“Hoooo… Yesssss…” Breaths the lust-filed jet, guiding his lover hand higher to lay on his crotch and slowly unclasps it.
Turning a little to have a better access, Starscream let his glossa follow a path down the broad chest of his mate and traces the Decepticon Insignia engraved here, making him shiver and moan in pleasure.
Why do like half the erotic Transformer fan fics I read use the word “glossa” instead of tongue? It’s like they think using the word “tongue” is somehow inappropriate IN A STORY WHERE ROBOTS ARE FUCKING EACH OTHER AND ALSO PREGNANT AND ALSO APPARENTLY WEARING TIGHTS. STOP SAYING GLOSSA, YOU DICKWICKS. YOU’RE NOT IMPRESSING ANYBODY.
“Starscreeeeam…” purred the Decepticon leader as he slid a digit into the slick, wet port of his lover, before slowly adding a second, and then a third. “You little turn on…”
Note that while Starscream is pregnant and has a robot vagina, the author continually calls Starscream a he. Because making Starscream a female would just be so totally absurd.
Moaning his approval so wonderfully, Starscream thrusts his hips up on the touch, impaling himself deeper on the probing digits. He let his own hand travel down megatron’s side to caress hi hips and traces it to finally reach his crotch and unclps it, revealing his port and cable already prep for the main event, hard and throbbing in his light touch. Withdrawing his digits, the silver warlord leaned up to the open port and thrusts in until he was sheathed to the hilt.
…and that’s for “sheathed to the hilt.”
Starscream let out a loud cry, living up to his name, and buckled wildly in the invasion, capturing his lover’s lips in a fierce kiss, exploring the cavity with his slick glossa.
I SAID STOP SAYING GLOSSA, GODDAMMIT
Thrusting slowly and gently, careful not to harm the unborn sparklings, megatron took his pleasure shot mate to the edge quickly, heat radiating from their frames in waves, making the air condensates like sweat on their metal skin.
I was about to call out the author for the unbelievable stupidity of the robots getting so hot they cause the air to condensate, but then I remembered this is a story about a robot fucking a pregnant robot. And then I thought, no, even in a story about pregnant robots fucking each other, that’s tremendously fucking stupid. STOP LOOKING UP WORDS LIKE “GLOSSA” ON DICTIONARY.COM AND START PAYING ATTENTION IN SCIENCE CLASS.
When he finally overloaded, Starscream’s scream push Megatron over the edge too and he let out a deep, throaty roar as he released into his smaller mate’s port.
Once they were done, Megatron withdraw and lays beside Starscream, draping his arms around his frame as best he could with his huge abdomen on the way. He kissed him softly on the cheek, and felt he had fallen into recharge.
“I love you, Screamer…” I said quietly on his mate’s audios, and he felt him snuggle deeper into him, as if he had heard him.
Smilling, the Decepticon Lord fell into recharge as well.
Later that night, Starscream woke up with a start, not knowing what had awoken him. End then, a new sharp, intense wave of pain stab his gestation chamber and he felt a warm, wet liquid run down his legs.
OH MY FUCKING GOD STARSCREAM’S WATER JUST BROKE
“Megatron!” He shouted, shaking his bondmate roughly. “Huunhh… I… I broke the seal! It’s time…”
“You broke the seal? The Beasts have arrived, and the moon has become as blood? Oh, the great day of wrath has come! And right when I was going to be a daddy!”
“What…?” He first said, drowsy, but he felt the pain through the bond.
Sitting up with a surprised yelp, the Decepticon leader looked at his bondmate in disbelief, but he quickly noticed the oil and lubricant covering his legs, and the berth beneath. Not wasting a second, He grabbed Starscream in his arms and runs out of the room and down the hallways, to the med bay. He had warned Hook than the sparklings were due anytime, now, so the birthing room may be already set up. All he had to do beside getting Starscream to the med bay was call Hook to have get down here with his crew.
I know it’s silly, given all the stupidity that’s going on, but I’m kind of extra baffled why one of the Constructicons is the midwife. Seriously, there are no other Decepticons that would be better suited to OH MY FUCKING GOD WHY AM I WASTING MY LIFE THINKING ABOUT THIS SHIT
“Yes, My Lord?” Was the drowsy answer, The mech had just been awoken…
“Starscream has gne into labor! I need you and your crew in med bay RIGHT NOW!”
Starscream tensed and screamed in his armed as another sharp wave of pain runs through him, and Megatron winced, partly feeling it through the bond. He had reached the med bay and he laid his trembling and panting mate down in the berth that had been prepped for this purpose earlier. Not even a minute later, Hook and three of the other cconstructicons enters the med bay, and the medic wasted no time in word when he saw Starscream on the berth.
I’d hate to be the Decepticon that transforms into the medical bed. Seems like you’d get very sticky.
“MEGATROOON! THAT HURTS!” Yelled the Seeker as a new intense wave of pain washed into his abdomen. He grabbed his bondmate by the forearm tightly and squeezed hard enough to let dents. “TAHTS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU SLAGTARD! HAAAAA!”
“Can’t you sedate him, or give him something against the pain?” Asked Megatron, wincing at the pain in his forearm and the stream of insanities and accusations coming out his pain shot mate.
“Did you fill out the proper requisition form?”
“I could.” Said Hook matter-of-factly, between waves of shouted orders. “But it wouldn’t do much good to the sparklings. It’s better to avoid doing it if possible. And besides, that’s not that bad, I assure you. Screamer’s putting it out of proportions.”
For the next couple of hours, all Megatron could do was let Starscream dent his plating and look as the medic works to make the delivery as easy and quick as possible. Megatron was awed by the quality and the diversities of languages and insanities Starscream was able to shout when the pain got too much. Even he didn’t know so much swearing and curses…
“Well, looks like the port as shifted large enough. The sparklings are ready to come out now.” Finally announced Hook after the tenth hour of that torture. “Okay, now, Starscream, listen at me. When the next contraction hit, I want you to push as hard as you can. Alright?”
Starscream is having contractions, and yet, the idea of Megatron rolling his optics was considered complete absurd. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEE
Panting and sweating, the exhausted Seeker nodded, a wave of relief washing through him. It was almost over now, and soon he will be able to hold his triplets in his arms.
“You can do it, Starscream. They’re almost here, our seekerlets…” Megatron cheered him up, still holding his hand and squeezing gently.
“Yes… I can’t wait to see them…” breathed the jet happily, squeezing back. “They’re gonna be so beautiful…”
“Yes… Just like you, my love…”
God, I can feel my IQ just plummeting while I read this.
Starscream smiled up at him tiredly, before his facepalted crunched in pain again. Megatron moved to be in a better position to see the sparklings coming out.
“Man, Starscream, your robot vagina looks so weird right now.”
“NOW, Starscream! PUSH!” Shouted Hook at that moment, ready to retrieve the first sparkling.
“I… am… pushing… you… dolt!” Stammered the jet bitterly between his efforts.
Fascinated, Megatron saw the tiny head of the first Sparkling crowning out of the port. Another deep push and the tiny head were completely out. It was bleu with a dark helmet. Another push and the shoulders and wings got out, and the rest of the tiny body slipped easily out of the slick port. Hook quickly handed the jet to Scrapper, who was waiting beside him with a blanket. He lay the sparkling on his belly and cleared his vents. The first wailing was loud and audio-piercing, but so beautiful at the same time, Music to his creator’s audios.
Yep, someone decided to write about Starscream graphically giving birth to Deceptibabies.
I honestly don’t know what I can say to that.
He wrapped the tiny being in the blanket to warm him up and then, gently, he presented him to Megatron. Slowly, carefully, he took him from the constructicon grasp and cradled him to his chest. The sparkling was crying his tiny air pumps out. Lifting the blanket a little, Megatron saw the tiniest being he had ever held in his function.
I hope Starscream gives birth to an instruction booklet next because Megatron’s going to ghave no idea how to transform his kid.
The sparkling fitted perfectly in the palm of his large hand, just a little bit bigger and his head rests on his digits. The seekerlet was black and deep blue, with red stripes on his stub-like winglets.
“Hi, little one… I am you father.”
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING WHY IS ANY OF THIS HAPPENING
He presented the sparkling to Starscream, who was taking a breath as he waited for the next one to come out. The Seeker took the tiny package with care, optics full of joy and pain melted. He kissed his tiny helm lightly, cradling him to his chest. As soon as he was in his mommy’s arms, the dark seekerlet stopped crying and looked up at him with wide, trusting optics. He coos and chirps, making his mother-creator smile.
“Yeah… I am your mommy… Darkwind…” The name had come naturally. It was fitting the little one perfectly.
Because the baby farted and a black cloud came out. STOP PRETENDING ANY OF THIS HORRIBLE SHIT IS ADORABLE, GODDAMMIT
Suddenly, he felt pain rising again and he handed Darkwind back to his mate. Megatron returned to his observation point to see the second one coming out.
Point Starscream’s Vagina — bring your binoculars!
Pushing again, Starscream pants and breathe heavily, trying his best to force the second sparkling down his port and into the waiting hands of Hook. After a large push, a little head crowned out the port again. It was dark bleu this time.
I’m going to pretend “bleu” was a typo, because otherwise I would seriously go on a murder spree.
Two other push and the head was out, little red faceplates and dark blue helm. Optics shut tights and face crunched in discomfort, apparently. After a couple more pushes, the body slipped out of the port and Hook handed him to Scrapper again, the constructicon repeating the process of clearing the vent and wrapping the little one in a blanket. He was crying as loud as his brother, and Megatron took him to, cradling him along his older-by-klicks brother. He was red and dark bleu, with silver stripes on his wings and a helm that looks like his father’s. He sensed his sibling near him and stopped crying, cooing and chirping at his brother instead.
“Oh, shit, Starscream. This is the same baby in different colors. He’s just a repaint. Rip-off!”
Megatron presented him to his exhausted mate, and Starscream took him and cradled him, kissing him gently on his tiny helm too. He calmed down even more when he was put in Starscream’s arms. He looked up at his mommy and tilted his tiny helm in awe, chirping softly.
“Hello, my little angel… Redstar…” Yeah, that name was perfect. His optics shines like tiny red stars on the middle of his red face.
HIS OPTICS WHICH HE WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO ROLL, NO MATTER HOW MANY ROBOT BABIES HE GAVE BIRTH TO
Megatron kissed him gently as he was resting, waiting for the third to make his entry.
“You’re the bravest mech I know, Screamer. Only one more and that’ll be over…” Whispered the silver giant on his mate’s audios gently, kissing his helm softly.
I would give anything for this third baby to come out as a boombox just to see Megatron lose his shit.
Starscream moaned in pain again, a new contraction washing through him. Megatron took back the second sparkling and cradle him to his chest along his brother as he waited to see the third birth. Soon, Starscream had to push hard again, but this time, something wasn’t quite right. He saw Hook getting worried as the sparkling wasn’t coming out after a breem or two.
He scans the abdomen carefully, and sees than the little one was coming the wrong way, and wrapped on his energon line. He cursed a bit, and prepped qickly to do a caesarean cut.
“What’s wrong! Why my sparkling did wasn’t coming out?” Asked Starscream, panicked.
“Calm down, Starscream. The sparkling’s coming the wrong way, and he’s wrapped in the energon line. I have to open to get him out or you could both deactivates.” Explained Hook calmly.
OH MY FUCK
“Do it.” Was all Megatron was able to spat through clenched dentals. He didn’t wants to loose his mate and sparkling…
“Yes my Lord.”
A couple of klicks later, the armour plating covering Starscream gestation chamber was removed and his thing, fragile metal skin exposed.
IT’S A ROBOT C-SECTION
Carefully, he opend the distended abdomen with a laser scalpel and peeled down the flesh to expose the curled up, tightly wrapped sparkling.
WE’RE READING ABOUT A ROBOT C-SECTION
He slowly and very carefully removed the tiny, mostly silver with red stripes sparkling from the womb cavity after cutting the lines that had prevented hi to get out naturally.
SOMEONE IS WRITING ABOUT A ROBOT C-SECTION, APPARENTLY ON PURPOSE AND NOT BECAUSE A GUN IS BEING HELD TO THEIR HEAD
As soon as the sparkling was out, he lay him down a little examination table, and cleared his vents before wrapping him in a blanket. But the sparkling wasn’t crying still… Lifting him carefully, he turned him upside down and gently slapped his back to clear his air pump, which must be clogged in fluids.
“C’mon little one… Don’t do this to me… Megatron’ll deactivate me if you die on me… Breathe!”
He let out relieved sigh when a loud wail came out of the tiny being after he coughed out a large amount of fluids. Smiling, he wrapped him again and handed him to Megatron, who looks like he had held his breath the whole time. Once he had the sparkling in his hand – he was the tiniest of the three, not even covering all his palm – he smiled in relief and then presented him to Starscream, who was crying in pure relief and joy when he saw his baby alive and well.
“This one’s a fighter. He’ll do great things when he grows up… Just like his father.” Commented the Decepticon Lord with pride.
“Yes, one day he too will have his every plan foiled by the Autobots. Also he’ll probably knock up a tank or something.”
Calming down in his mommy’s arms, the sparkling looked in awe at the large being above him, but all he felt was warmth and love, so he was comforted. He cooed and chirped away loudly, wrapping a tiny hand around his daddy’s digit, not even circling it.
“And he’s as loud as his mommy…” Laughed Starscream tiredly. “Hello, Silverstream. Welcome to the world… You gave the heck of a scare, little one.”
The three sparklings and Starscream were exhausted, yawning and slowly falling into recharge. Megatron wasn’t in better shape, after more than sixteen hour of labour. He was starting to follow his little family to the recharge world, and he climbed on the berth alongside his mate and sparklings, wrapping his arms around them possessively.