Did you watch it? Okay, what do you think it was? A fan-made movie with reasonably decent, if extremely cheap, production values? Or an honest-to-god, third official Dungeons & Dragons movie?
The answer seems to be a third D&D movie, subtitled The Book of Vile Darkness. It was apparently supposed to premiere on SyFy, but has been delayed for quite some time, presumably because it’s fucking terrible. This means that the TV channel that has aired Piranhaconda and Mansquito — the TV channel that not only gave acting jobs to ’80s pop stars Debbie Gibson and Tiffany, but also let them star in a movie together — took a look at The Book of Vile Darkness here, and said, “This movie is too shitty for us to air.” That’s insane. What’s also insane: Movies are not solo efforts. There are actors and directors and cinematographers and writers and tons of people who all take part in creating a movie. And yet somehow, The Book of vile Darkness here did not hire a single competent person to work on any aspect of this film. What are the odds? Obviously, some producers rolled a critical miss on his Saving Throw Vs. Impossibly Shitty Movie. Thanks to Psylent1 for the tip.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.