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We’re in Serious Danger of Getting an Indiana Jones 5

We’re in Serious Danger of Getting an Indiana Jones 5

By June 16, 2009 Movies 0 Comment
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Weep and despair, because Shia the Beef — currently touring to promote the scrappy indie film Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen — told the BBC that?”Steven [Spielberg] just said that he cracked the story on it before I left and I think they’re gearing that up.”
I don’t know whether to shit my pants in fear or be cautiously optimistic, and I’ll explain why — ?the biggest problem with Crystal Skull was George Lucas’ mind-shatteringly awful plot, which called for nuked fridges, the Beef becoming king of the monkeys, and intensely powerful aliens who couldn’t find a crystal skull but wanted to leave within 30 seconds of having returned to them. If Indy 5 is mainly Spielberg’s story, as the Beef is intimating, then maybe we have a chance of the film not featuring Harrison Ford and the Beef painting a tunnel on a mountainside so that the bad guys drive their jeep into it, Wile E. Coyote style.
On the other hand, Indy 4 was held-up for years because the script — which many excellent writers took a crack at over the years — didn’t meet with Lucas’ approval, and yet what ended up as Crystal Skull somehow did. The only reason he would back off for #5 is because he admits that Crystal Skull was a mess, and I don’t see that happening. So… yeah. I think I’m going to shit my pants in fear now.

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About The Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.