An Important Breakthrough in Topless Robot Technology



From the Daily Mail:

The ‘Robot Restaurant’ offers ‘cabaret dances’ from giant robots – looking like plastic women, but with robotic lower halves.

The ?83 million restaurant will let customers operate the ‘fem-bots’ – but staff will also ‘steer’ the performers as they dance for visitors.

The new restaurant advertised that it cost 10 billion yen – ?83 million – to open.

The robots operated by real women dressed in military and other outfits will perform ‘cabaret’ dances for its customers.

The robots are themed after the character Valkyrie in the game Soul Calibur.

The restaurant is located near the heart of Kabuchiko in Shinjuku.

A flat fee of 3000 Yen – ?25 – allows entry to the robot show and a drink.

Sushi is also served – although local reviewers say that it’s difficult to ignore the hour-long ‘show’.

Honestly, I have no words, except this:


…the robots’ top halves are somewhat more sexy than their lower halves. They’re piloted! By women already in bikinis! HOLY FUCK. Oh Japan. Just when I think I’ve seen it all, you construct the upper torsos of giant sexy robot dancers and base an entire bar around them.

I can’t tell you how much this news both delights and terrifies me because honestly, at this point I have no idea if we’re heading to the Terminator future or straight to Futurama. I’d say it’s 50/50 either way. Please, please go to the full article to see all the marvelous/disturbing pics of the robot dancers — and their equally terrifying promotions. Infinite thanks to Robert C. for the tip.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.