TR Contest: What Should/Will a Fifth Indiana Jones Film Be Like?

Earlier today I posted about how the Indiana Jones film franchise may finally be dead. Understandably, opinions about this development have been mixed. Some of you feel that Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull should have never been made, and that Indy deserves a better send off that a fifth film could provide. Others believe that its best to leave the whole franchise be and just spend time re-watching the good Indiana Jones films.

However, let’s pretend for a minute that the various ducks needed for a fifth Indy installment somehow became aligned. What do you think should happen? What will George Lucas actually make happen? I’ll be giving out two shirts, one for each category mentioned above. I’ll be giving out two shirts — one for serious plot ideas for another movie, and another for the type of Mutt Williams vine-swinging mess George Lucas and company will actually give us. Here’s two examples:

What should happen: Set in the early 1960s, Indiana Jones and the Secret of the Ages has Indy pursuit for an ancient Aztec amulet complicated by the realization that he too is a relic.

What will happen: Set in the 1960s, Indiana Jones and Psychedelic Talisman has our hero pursing an amulet with mind-control powers that shadowy
forces plan on using to brainwash hippies into overthrowing the
government. Elsewhere, Mutt Williams finds himself at a crossroads as he
eschews his greaser past to star in the first production of Hair.

So something along those lines, but actually clever and funny. Each person can submit one entry for each category, and if you do choose to do both you are absolutely encouraged to bastardize your “what should happen” for your “what will happen” entry.(Though you absolutely will not be penalized if you submit two unrelated entries). Note: Any entry longer than five lines will be automatically disqualified. Short and sweet is the key with this one. The contest ends at 12:01 am on Monday, July 30th. Good luck!