Parents, if your Batmen exhibits any kind of aggressive or violent behavior while playing videogames, or immediately afterwards, please talk to your Batman about their feelings and actions. Consider limiting your Batmen’s gameplay time to only a few hours a week. Make sure they don’t have access to sharp objects like Batarangs during or after gameplay. If the problem persists, seek out a trusted psychologist, such as Dr. Jonathan Crane or Dr. Hugo Strange. Of course, if you happen to be dead and your Batman has no parents, he’s just fucked. Sorry about your luck. Infinite thanks to Starman Matt Morrison for the tip.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.