I was under the impression that dragons were the biggest danger in Skyrim and the rest of the Elder Scrolls games, but this new, revelatory video proves they’re a distant second to Tamriel’s many, many sexual predators. Sure, there are a few heroes, heroines and townsfolk willing to give a helpful blowjob or engage in anal sex, but mostly they want to fuck you, vampires, dragons, their enemies, and you, preferably in that order. Clearly, the most important armor you can buy in Tamriel is some kind of chastity belt. (Via Kotaku)
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.