TR Contest: The Roast of Everybody Nerdy

Three things:

1) My internet keeps going in and out, and I’m giving up for the day after this contest post. Sorry.
2) Topless Robot will be closed on Monday, September 3rd, for Labor Day. Normal nonsense will resume Tuesday, assuming no more internet shenanigans.
3) Doctor Who series 7 premieres on Saturday evening, don’t forget. Because I’m so poor, I had to lower my cable package, which means I lost BBC America and my ability to watch Doctor Who. Between this, the internet, and losing today’s FFF after almost completely finishing it, I’m in a great fucking mood.
But since it’s going to be a long weekend, and because of the FFF debacle, I wanted to have a good contest, which TR reader MadC helpfully supplied, as inspired by this video:
Your contest: Think up jokes to be told at the roast of any nerdy character ever. The rules:
? The characters have to be fictional (no George Lucases or Michael Bays). 
? The jokes should be reasonably accurate to the character; I mean, there are a lot of Wonder Woman is a slut jokes in the video above, but WW isn’t really known for sleeping around. Man-hating and lesbian jokes would probably be more appropriate (in the sense of a roast).
? Points will be given for jokes that are crass without necessarily being gross — it’s a fine line, I know, but do your best.
? Absolutely nothing racist. I’m serious.
Since it’s a long weekend, enter as many times as you want. The contest ends at 12:01 am EST on Tuesday, September 4th, so you have an extra day. Have a great weekend, folks. Now I’m going to sulk and/or glower for the next 72 hours.