Okay, that is an absolutely atrocious pun. My apologies. But you have to understand that something unexpected just happened that cause me to temporarily lose my shit: I became excited about Warner Bros. upcoming CGI Lego film. Why? Check out the just-released full lineup of voice talent involved (Via Toy News International):
Will Ferrell, Liam Neeson, Nick Offerman and Alison Brie are the latest
stars to sign on for the new LEGO feature film adventure, currently in
production. The four will join Chris Pratt, Elizabeth Banks, Will Arnett
and Morgan Freeman in voicing characters for the upcoming original 3D
animated film, set for a February 7, 2014 release, from Warner Bros.
Pictures and Village Roadshow Pictures.
The first-ever full length theatrical LEGO movie follows Emmet, an
ordinary, rules-following, perfectly average LEGO minifigure who is
mistakenly identified as the most extraordinary person and the key to
saving the world. He is drafted into a fellowship of strangers on an
epic quest to stop an evil tyrant, a journey for which Emmet is
hopelessly and hilariously underprepared.
Ferrell (“The Campaign”) stars as the voice of Emmet’s primary
adversary, President Business, an erudite, anal-retentive CEO who has a
hard time balancing world domination with micro-managing his own life;
while Neeson (“Taken” and “Taken 2,” Oscar nominee for “Schindler’s
List”) stars as the voice of the president’s powerful henchman, known as
Bad Cop, who will stop at nothing to catch Emmet. Offerman (NBC’s
“Parks and Recreation”) takes on the role of a craggy, swaggering pirate
obsessed with revenge on President Business and Brie (NBC’s
“Community”) plays a sweet, loveable member of Emmet’s team with a
Chris Pratt (“Moneyball”) stars as the voice of Emmet. Oscar winner
Morgan Freeman (“Million Dollar Baby”) and Elizabeth Banks (“The Hunger
Games,” Emmy nominee for “30 Rock”), will star as two of Emmet’s fellow
travelers: Vitruvius, an old mystic; and tough-as-nails Lucy, who
mistakes Emmet for the savior of the world and guides him on his quest.
Lucy also calls upon the mysterious Batman, a LEGO minifigure voiced by
Will Arnett (Emmy nominee, “30 Rock”), with whom she shares a history.
The 3D computer animated adventure will open nationwide on February 7, 2014.
Phil Lord & Christopher Miller (“21 Jump Street,” Golden Globe
nominee “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs”) are directing from their
original screenplay, story by Dan Hageman & Kevin Hageman and Phil
Lord & Christopher Miller, based on LEGO construction toys. The film
will incorporate some of the most popular LEGO figures while
introducing several new characters, inviting fans who have enjoyed the
brand’s innovative toys and hugely popular video games for generations
to experience their visually unique LEGO world as never seen before.
This could be a disaster of Battleship proportions. Yet I’m still willing to give this one the benefit of the doubt due to the goodwill I have towards everyone involved here. Is a Lego feature film necessary? Of course not. Was my hatred of blatant commercialism instantly superseded once I heard that Will Arnett would be playing Batman in this? Absolutely. I mean C’MON!