New Red-Band Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Trailer = Van Hawkeye?

“Don’t eat the fucking candy.” Funny in the same way a Schwarzenegger quip is funny – because it’s lame with a wanna-be badass delivery.

I can’t tell if this is going to be a genuinely bad movie, or a knowingly goofy take on hammy, CG-laden movies. It looks a whole lot like Van Helsing, which was dumb fun if you managed to avoid paying attention to the plot, or Kate Beckinsale’s accent. It’s not something you’d particularly want to repeat.

Terry Gilliam used to have this tonal balance down pat. Do we trust Tommy Wirkola, director of Dead Snow, to match that? (Or Jeremy Renner, not necessarily known for his comedic stylings?) Perhaps – frozen zombified Nazis are a good test of anybody’s ability to balance humor and horror. He did okay, making it clear that Sam Raimi was a big influence (the Raimi theme in every post today is coincidence, i swear). In his favor, I will say that I rarely ever like Gemma Arterton, but I dig what she’s doing in these clips.

The poster, though, I kinda hate. No creativity there at all.