What kind of demented sadist releases a brand-new Blu-ray on Christmas Eve? It’s bad enough The Lone Ranger already came out so close to the holiday that probably nobody got it for me, but making something available on the most batshit insane day to be in a store this side of Black Friday means either (a) you are so goddamn confident in your product that you know people will come and get it anyway, (b) you know your product sucks but you’re contractually obligated to put it out sometime, or (c) you want to give people the full scary movie experience by having them actually risk their own safety to get it.
In the case of Insidious Chapter 2, I don’t think it’s (b). As a horror sequel, it adds enough new stuff to keep things interesting, bringing in a ton of newly retconned plot details that seem to fit pretty well in retrospect as they tie up threads that cocreators James Wan and Leigh Whanell (who did the same in the Saw series) originally left dangling without knowing what they were going to go with them. Movie one saw young Ty Simpkins get haunted by a Darth Maul-looking demon; the sequel sees dad Patrick Wilson get possessed by a demented cross-dresser from the afterlife. Unlike so many modern horror movies, you aren’t just killing time until the big reveal in this one – the story genuinely takes some unusual turns en route to the resolution.
Is it a “must buy despite insane crowds” movie, though? Probably not. Just a fun scary thing that will probably expand into an insanely convoluted 7-part franchise before you know it.
Humanity Has Declined – Complete anime series about a post-ecological disaster future in which humans are in the minority, and the dominant species are…10-inch tall fairies. Haven’t seen it; love the matter-of-fact-title.
Say I Love You – Another complete anime collection, this one about a high-school romance between a troubled, antisocial girl and the most popular guy in class. Haven’t seen this either, but it’s nice to hear of a tale in which it’s the nerdy girl who scores the hottest guy, rather than the eternal vice-versa U.S. movies tend to feature.
More Than Honey – Look, it’s a really slow day for new releases, so what the hell: might as well chance a documentary, narrated by John Hurt, about why the bees are dying. I hear the surprise twist is that it turns out Nicolas Cage inhaled them all.
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (Unrated Cut) – This already came out…so I guess if you want it with a slightly different cover, this is your day?
And that’s really all I got today. Anything to add?