Blu-ray Today: Mutants, Simpsons, Smurfs, Predacons and Chuck F’in Norris


The Wolverine: Unleashed Extended Edition – Everyone who’s seen it that I know of has great things to say about the longer cut of this loose Chris Claremont/Frank Miller adaptation, with its longer character moments and slightly more graphic violence that needed to be trimmed for PG-13. I can say that despite a fairly pedestrian conclusion, I liked the original studio cut well enough, and certainly appreciate the impetus to make a superhero movie more character-based, even if the constant dreams of Famke Janssen in a nightie seem more like directorial fantasy than plot necessities. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that, especially if you happen to be 14.)

Also out today is a nice box set of every X-Men movie thus far, in a metal case containing a replica of Wolverine’s clawed fist. It has an open slot for Days of Future Past – but not one for the recently announced Wolverine sequel. So it’s cool and all, but the OCD among us will want to wait until the day Hugh Jackman ages out of the role for the super-duper complete ADAMANTIUM edition (TM), which is what you just know they’ll call it.

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones Harry Potter fanfic given a Hot Topic makeover; unnecessarily convoluted yet not unbearable like Twilight. Considering a sequel is apparently in the works, you might want to bone up on all the runes and clans and supernatural demons and…nah. If I don’t do the homework for the Underworld and Resident Evil serieses, why should I for this?

The Smurfs 2 Poor, poor Jonathan Winters, going out with this film. Fuck fuck fa-fuck fuck fuck, fuck fa-fuck fuck fuck.

Saturn 3 I remember seeing this as a kid, grooving on the antics of a killer robot named Hector stalking two scientists on a spaceship. I had no idea at the time that young actor Harvey Keitel was being dubbed, nor did I appreciate Farrah Fawcett getting naked with Kirk Douglas. I probably would now.

Transformers Prime: Season 3 – Predacons! This being the final season, I guess now we wait to see how the brand reinvents itself next.

The Simpsons: The Sixteenth Season – With Professor Frink on the cover, since he is obviously the sixteenth most popular supporting character.

Argo Extended Edition – In which we learn that Tony Mendez is actually Bruce Wayne.

The Act of Killing Possibly the most unique film I’ve seen this year: a documentary by a mostly anonymous crew in which Indonesian war criminals are invited to make movies about their own deeds, which they of course view as heroic. But as they “get into character” for the camera, the gravity of their actions starts to sink in. The climactic scenes in which one of them actually seems to undergo a mini-exorcism, attempting to vomit the evil from his body, is one of the most astounding things you’ll ever see on camera.

The Octagon In which Chuck Norris and Lee Van Cleef basically predict the UFC.

Those are my top picks for today – what are yours?