Oh, Christ: Kevin Smith to Make Movie About Giant Killer Jesus


Remember when Kevin Smith was going to retire from filmmaking after his weird-ass “final” flick about a guy paid to wear a fetishy walrus costume? Yeah, he’s backtracking a little on that. It seems the walrus stuff rekindled his interest in being weird, so now he’s talking about how his next movie will be called Helena Handbag, and be about

…mankind teaming up with Hell to save existence from extinction at the hands of a Rapturing giant Jesus – which means the budget has to be LOW, because NOBODY’S gonna wanna make that movie. At all. And I know this going in, so I won’t be heartbroken if it never goes beyond the script. But… if the script is funny enough? Who knows?

The Liberal Response: Look, I appreciate his notion that anybody with a weird idea should go for it and see if it works. But I also saw Dogma, and while I liked that it contained legitimate references to serious biblical scholarship, they were undercut by dumb gags like Chris Rock as Rufus the Racially Obsessed 13th Apostle.

The Conservative Response: Ooooh, I bet Kevin Smith wouldn’t dare make this about a giant killer Mohammed. So he’s not brave like all of us bloggers who don’t actually fight anybody.

The Nerd Response: Won’t be as good as Gatchaman‘s version (above).

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