Geek Apparel of the Week: A Skintight Bodysuit Covered in Nicolas Cage Mash-Ups

Tell me you’re not already contemplating the imminent nightmares that shall arrive mere moments after you down six shots of whatever’s handy just to survive the experience of staring that thing in the face.

Yes, in case there was any confusion, those are images of Nicolas Cage as Michael Jackson, Batman, Gandalf, Harry Potter and more. Because if there’s anything that’ll make a lonely nerd even LESS likely to ever get laid, it’s stretching terrible Photoshops of a demented Coppola cousin over your skin.

This is a thing, apparently – it’s called a Morphsuit, and you can drink through it. Which, of course, means you can also get pregnant through it. Because if you’re into wearing something like this, you are probably the sort of person who needed to know that fact. Just check out this disclaimer:

We must warn you though…once you wear a Morphsuit you will find any excuse to wear it be it weddings, parties, Halloween, sports or just a trip to the shops.

Mmm-hmm. Yep. They just suggested wearing this to a wedding.

I suspect if that ever happens, ANYWHERE, the owner of the Morphsuit will soon find himself yelling, much like his hero on the outfit: “How’d it get burned? How’d itgetburnedHOW’DITGET BURNED?”

h/t Josh Olson