Here Is a Movie About Sentient Crayons. There Goes My Sanity.


I like to imagine that Christina Ricci, Craig Ferguson, Rosie Perez and Wayne Brady, having recorded voice tracks for these (presumably) a while ago, are looking at this trailer and going “Dafuq?” Because the alternative is that they chose to make a movie that looks this incredibly shitty, and is about goddamn crayons.

I have no explanation for why it’s being distributed by Magnolia, usually known for arthouse fare and indie horror. I can only assume everyone involved pushed crayons up their nose one day and lost their minds. And of course I must share this with all of you, that you likewise lose yours.