Weekend Hangover: 17 Stories You Might Have Missed

Axel Braun’s Facebook

From game-show geeks to homicidal Pokemon, here are some of the stories you may have missed over the weekend, as submitted by your fellow readers and compiled with the help of Kyle LeClair.

This week’s tipsters include kegs, skrag2112, troi, andre morelo, SlyDante777, Dr.Gonzo82, rkwsuperstar, Gallen_Dugall, SHC1970

1. Angelina Gets Axeled.

Just in time to cash in on Maleficent, Axel Braun introduces his Sleeping Beauty porno. Ironically, what with the laws about what you can and can’t depict in porn, and Disney’s shifting standards about what is and isn’t okay in family movies, the Angelina Jolie version is probably the rapey-er of the two movies.

2. Reimagining Robin.

The tale of Robin Hood has been interpreted in many different ways. Here, the cheesy sci-fi version, Rocket Robin Hood, gets a metal theme, while the Disney version engages in modern corporate synergy.

3. Baby, You Can’t Drive Their Car.

Google’s self-driving cars have no pedals or steering wheel, and max out at 25 mph. They’re sorta like cars driven by old people, except the turn signals work properly.

4. Not Mushroom in Here to Do It.

Ever wonder how the living creatures of Mario World get it on? Of course you have.

5.Happy Accident.

The newest McDonald’s Happy Meal mascot ought to have been kid-tested before rolling it out, not after.

6. Floating in a Most Peculiar Way.

Major Tom might have been even more weirded out had he been in NASA’s inflatable spaceship.

7. The Doc-y Horror Picture Show.

Okay, I’m sold – The Doctor can be a woman. Especially a woman who sounds exactly like David Tennant.

8. Sonic and Sticks May Break Fanfics, but Boners Will Never Hurt You.

Sonic Boom adds a cute, furry female badger to the cast. And we know where that’s gonna end up.

9. Archer, See, Clarke?

Archer‘s Jon Benjamin tries his hand at dubbing Hal’s lines in 2001. He makes the homicidal computer even more dickish, somehow.

10. Building a Media Empire.

Do you think the pundits on Lego News go on and on about their president faking his birth certificate, to cover for the fact that he’s…Will Ferrell? I’d tell you but it’s all in German.

11. Chip off the Old Mental Block.

The good news: there may be a cure for PTSD on the horizon. The bad news: it involves cutting open your head.

12. Crushin’ It.

Honest Game Trailers takes on Candy Crush Saga. Meanwhile, in case you missed it, Robot Chicken imagines how “popular” directors would turn it into a movie.

13. Because the Problem With Chocolate Is the “Eating” Part…

…this one guy has developed a device that lets you snort chocolate like cocaine. Naturally, it was invented for the Rolling Stones’ Ron Wood.

14. Dorkland, Dorkland Uber Alles.

Beat the Geeks‘ Paul Goebel wants to shoot a pilot for a newer version, with the radical notion of not insulting our intelligence or glamor-geeking. Guess that rules out Syfy.

15. Gotta Kombat ‘Em All!

Pokemon has always been a metaphor for the gladiator arenas of old – it’s time we acknowledged that reality and gave them Mortal Kombat-style finishers.

16. No, Not a Device to Capture Hacky Directors Fond of Twist Endings…

The infamous, yet totally tame Sega CD game Night Trap may be making a comeback. No, not as a new sequel – just the original hard-to-play full-motion-video game, remastered. Or it could be a total pipedream of its creator.

17. Lunar Surfing.

High-speed ‘Net is what you get…working on the moon.