Germany’s Radioactive Boar Problem

Original, non-nuculer colored photo by Smithsonian Wild

Do you like glowing green eggs and ham? It ought to be a Michael Bay produced movie, in which a tusked pig learns martial arts. Instead, it’s a real issue for Germans who like to eat wild pig, which is to say: Germans. Radiation from Chernobyl is still concentrated in truffles and other mushrooms that soak up the toxic stuff, but wild boars don’t know or care about that, nor do they conveniently drop dead from it. Rather, they just run around being all radioactive and stuff, which is all fun and games until they bite a hapless teenager who just wants to be noticed, and happens to be great at making tusk-shooters.

According to the UK Telegraph, you can expect nuclear wild pigs for 50 more years. By which time I just assume we’ll get this:


h/t Gallen_Dugall

P.S. The boar in the picture is from China, and probably not radioactive at all. Lead-poisoned, maybe.