In Addition to Everything Else, Is Michael Bay the Reason You’re Fat?


“Michael Bay makes viewers snack more, says Cornell University study.” Hey, it says that in the UK’s prestigious Guardian newspaper. Citing an article in the L.A. Times, the publication notes that a test group supplied with healthy and unhealthy snacks ate more junk food watching a Michael Bay movie than “a slow-paced talk show.”

Is this the most legit reason yet to complain about Michael Bay?

Not really.

It turns out the Michael Bay movie in question is The Island, and they only showed 20 minutes of it. You may remember The Island as the Michael Bay movie in which no action sequences happen for an hour, and every single review expressed regret that the rest of the movie didn’t continue on that course.

And the talk show was Charlie Rose. So the people watching probably weren’t eating as much because they were lulled to sleep.

It’s like if I did a study that proved that news channels get people more excited than Star Wars, except the “news” is an exclusive expose on the excessive nudity at spring break, and “Star Wars” is the Holiday Special.

Statistics! On the other hand, based on the photo above, Michael Bay might be the reason Anthony Anderson was fat.