Ask Luke’s Mother-in-Law: A Mom Review of Jason Momoa’s Road to Paloma

A veteran of the LAPD, widow of a Green Beret and self-described crazy cat lady, Martha Boyd fears no questions. Ask her anything in the comments section – no issue is too big, too trivial or too weird for her to tackle, but if you get out of line, she will let you know!

All questions and answers are real.

Hello and after-Thanksgiving greetings. I hope you all survived the massive day of gluttony. I was on an airplane to Mexico. Yep, another trip down south of the border. So it was airport food until we landed and got to the hotel. Well, not really all airport food. We got coffee, but as we were picked up at 5 am for a 10 am flight I had packed some nice muffins in a lunch bag and then brought munchies for the airplane. The dollar store is a great place for this, as you can get things in small packages. The coffee, soda and juice are still free on the plane and it is only about a 3 hr flight. So we had cookies, crackers with cream cheese and breakfast bars for the plane. We went to dinner early the first night – right at 5 when they start serving. Here is what I have almost every day at the resort for lunch by the pool: California roll, chips with salsa, soup and salad. They have a really good soup station and the salad bar is well stocked. Then back to the pool for more swimming and a couple of more margaritas. This place is totally eat, drink, swim, sun, repeat. Weather was in the 80’s and very nice. A bit warmer then what I left in So Cal. LYT gave me Thanksgiving off as he was taking the day off too and thus I was missing last week. But now I’M BACK and you can’t escape.

As you know, I was able to see a screening of Road to Paloma just before Thanksgiving. I will now proudly stomp on LYT’s movie critic toes. LOL I don’t believe he has seen and/or reviewed this work so I doubt he will object. Stomp, stomp, stomp lightly as he is a really big guy.

Road to Paloma is the directorial debut of Jason Momoa; he was also a writer, producer and star. Quadruple threat. The movie was released in July of 2014 (7/11 theaters, limited; 7/15 DVD, pay for view); the run time is 91 minutes with a rating of R. I felt it was more PG, maybe PG 13, but the powers that be gave it an R. Its companies are Anchor Bay Films and WWE studios (distribution). Production costs were around $600,000. Now I have seen they were less than this figure – but only the producers know for sure. It got the R for language, violence and sex. Most of these 3 were fairly tame as far as I was concerned. Everyone had their clothes on, and there were several fades to black so your own imagination had to fill in the blank. Which I sure my TR readers would have no problem with. There are some pretty good fights – sort of impromptu WWE match and [SPOILER DELETED]. But geez, I have seen worse on prime time TV.

Mr. Momoa’s wife Lisa Bonet is also in the film in a small, but very nice, part as a casual love interest that he meets on his journey. Their scenes were touching and natural, but of course they are married so it came naturally. They are so cute together. He is big and hunky and she is small, soft and petite. Wolf (Jason Momoa) is spending the night with this beautiful lady while his travel partner is at a gentleman’s club and then getting kicked out as he was not paying. Good contrast between the two travelers.

The story is about the journey of Wolf to scatter his mother’s ashes at a beautiful mountain lake. Wolf is a Fort Mojave Native American. His mother was raped and murdered by a non-rez man. However, under Federal law, non-rez criminals can only be held for a year and thus the man is released as the Federal system did not have enough time. This is a large, continual problem of rez vs. off rez law, and a highlight and running theme in the movie. The movie is very good about showing how unfair and unequal our justice system is still for the Native American. Wolf finds the man and kills him to avenge his mother. He is now being hunted by FBI agent Kelly (Lance Henriksen) Very intense man and I would not want him on my tail. Agent Kelly is given limited help from rez cops and inhabitants.

I know Mr. Momoa hails from Hawaii, but he and his project had a great grasp of the Western Native American culture. I am fairly familiar with the culture as my late husband was a Sun Dancer with the Lakota people. The Native ceremonies that were shown were very beautiful and well done. It was very touching when he was at the lake.

Anyway, Wolf learns from his father that his sister and brother in law have the mother’s ashes. Thus starts the road trip on a beautiful antique motorcycle. Along the way he teams with Cash (Robert Homer Mollohan) a musician/drunk who also rides, but seems to spend a lot of time getting beaten up and flimflamming. He is not on the same spiritual path as Wolf, but he is entertaining. Wolf and Cash stop along the way to help Magdalena (Lisa Bonet), whose car has broken down, and also to help a small boy whose sister is raped on the rez. The rez cop they leave the boy and sister with tells them to run fast as the FBI is on their tail.

SPOILERS –

Wolf and Cash reach his sister’s house, they meet his godson and get the ashes. They depart and the FBI shows up at the house. Wolf’s brother-in-law is pretty much strong-armed to lead the agent to Wolf. The agent has removed the wife from the house and is holding the baby while doing the strong arm. Lovely. Wolf is located at the lake and pretty much killed in cold blood by the law. However, he did have the time to scatter his mother prior to being found.

END SPOILERS.

I went into this movie figuring that I was not going to really like it. “Guys on bikes” is not generally the type of movie I go out to see. Please, I am as you know an old broad. It was part of the Joshua Tree Film Fest and I am covering the Fest. So I went. Boy, was I surprised. I loved the movie and I am sure if I watched it again would find more that I liked. The sound in the room where I was watching was not the best and so some of the dialogue got lost, and some of the background music was too loud. The Indian ceremonies were very, very well done. Locations were beautiful. There was a bit of location jumping that got on my nerves – especially if you know the locations. Like, for example, I don’t know of any orange groves in any close proximity to Roy’s Cafe in Amboy – Jojoba yes – oranges no. If you are using a RTE 66 landmark put it in the correct place. I have been to Roy’s many times as it is on the back way to Las Vegas out of 29 Palms (it’s in my back yard people). Some of the day/night changes were rough. However, overall I liked the movie and it is worth a watch. It looks like they had a great time doing this movie. You can either buy the DVD or rent the movie on various sources.

Unfortunately no one from the movie was at the screening – thus there was no Q & A. We were told that Mr. Momoa may come to the 3-day festival next year, time permitting. As both my daughter and son-in-law are actors I totally understand just how busy Mr. Momoa can be – which is great for any actor in Hollywood. I understand he has other projects in the works and a really big one that you all will be interested in is his role as Aquaman for a 2016 release. Beautiful locations, not bad storyline and good rep of rez life, the problems and ceremonies. Road to Paloma gets the LYT mother in law seal of approval. Don’t let the R rating stop you from seeing this fine independent film – I think you will enjoy it.

So now on to your questions: With the holiday there were not very many. Hopefully there will be more next time. Also, how did I do on my first TR review? If you like them and LYT permits I will do more.

Brando Lars:
Why is it that I can sit through the Peanuts thanksgiving and Christmas special with glee in my eyes every year, but when I see the characters being used for a MET LIFE commercial it fills me with disdain rather than the joy it should at see beloved childhood characters resurrected for a modern audience?

Very good question. I totally agree with you. Every year I look forward to Great Pumpkin, Thanksgiving and the Christmas Peanuts specials. I grew up on these and raised Julia on them. This was always a family event. I think the problem is with the family joy vs. pure commercialization of the Met Life Commercials. Thus I have no Met Life policies and would never consider one. I think if they need a cute character to sell their product (which makes me wonder about the product) then they should find something original and not use Peanuts which is so pure and simple.

James.k.Polk:
Dear Ms Ppraisal,
All this talk about favorite Thanksgiving side dishes has me wondering what your least favorite holiday side dishes are?
Mine is a sort of nasty yellow squash goop my mother used to make by boiling the stuff, adding cubes of white bread and American cheese slices and baking it in the oven.
Also my sister makes a corn casserole that’s pretty much just corn, canned peppers and cream cheese all stirred together.
I also don’t really like sweet potatoes and dumping marshmallows on them doesn’t do anything to make them better.

Well, the first 2 don’t sound all that great. I like sweet potatoes and can take or leave the marshmallows. I don’t really care for cranberry salad with walnuts. I like my cranberry straight with nothing in it. For the 30 yrs or so that I have been cooking Thanksgiving and Christmas I don’t cook things that I don’t like. Pretty much if you come to my house you eat what is set out or you can take me out to dinner, go hungry or make your own PB and J. I really don’t care.

Clashctyrkr:
greetings LMIL, think I been leaving off the first L. my favorite semi precious gemstone is opal followed by topaz and agate, do you have a favorite semi precious gemstone? if so what would it be?

Yes I do. My birthstone is diamond (I know it is not semi-precious). I hate diamonds. Growing up I got them all of the time. My uncle was a jeweler in Thailand. I too love fire opals – remember to keep them in distilled water to keep the fire going as they are a water stone. If you find an old fire opal many times you can get the fire back by a good long soak. My next is watermelon tourmaline. Love the pink and green colors. My wedding ring was blue topaz. John was smart and asked what I wanted, not what he assumed I wanted.

Helen T:
How come Costco sells things in bulk but you can only buy turkeys in groups of one?

But it is bulk. Turkeys are bulky and hard to carry; if frozen they are like a bowling ball. Matter of fact, I have used one as a bowling ball. Bulk can also be volume and or weight. If they packaged them say in 2’s or 3’s, how the heck would you carry out of the store?

Brando Lars:
I’m Canadian, What the hell is a Candied Yam?

Yummy. The base is mashed yams or sweet potatoes. Boil them and then mash with butter, like you would a potato. Add brown sugar and I add some dark run. Mix this together, put in baking dish and top with mini marshmallows then bake until the marshmallows are puffy and golden brown. For the brown sugar you can also use maple syrup (real stuff only) or agave syrup. The sugar and rum are to taste and this depends on the volume of the potatoes.

Grace M:
why sweet potatoes and marshmallows? American Thanksgiving food is weird.

Really don’t know for sure why or how we got this combination; they did not have marshmallows at the first Thanksgiving. They may have had yams and/or sweet potatoes. Another weird one is the green beans with cream of mushroom soup and onion pieces. Hey, but they are all good and very tasty

Brando Lars:
what is the best
way to handle a crazy shoplifter? I resorted to taunting. but as a former
police officer you might have a better suggestion.

Well, to start with, you have to get them out of the store to stop the loss for the business. You have to size up the type of crazy – they can be anything from violent to funny. If you intend to have them arrested you mostly have to keep them contained and happy until the police arrive. Engaging conversation about anything is usually pretty good – get on a really wild topic to keep them occupied. Good luck.

Frizzy and Pirate have found a place to sleep under my desk – don’t they look cute.
The Thanksgiving decorations are now done and packed away until next year. Christmas decorations are going up. Will post some pictures later. As always be good to each other – SANTA IS WATCHING. Huggs.

Got questions? Sure you do! Ask them below and be included in a future column.