Disney Reveals Frightening New Details About Live-Action Beauty and the Beast

So yeah, I just got a press release that says “The beloved tale will be retold for the big screen with a modern live-action lens and the help of transformative CG magic.”

Who at Disney thought “transformative CG magic” was a positive that needed to be talked up? Really? I do intend to add it to my vocabulary in a completely ironic way, because I do that.

The movie’s also opening on St. Patrick’s Day of 2017, and will include new songs as well as the old ones. It’s like they’re trying to screw up the inevitable drunken sing-alongs by confusing us. But on the plus side, Kevin Kline and Emma Thompson have joined the cast, making the appearance of Luke Evans in the lead role even more baffling by comparison. Full release text below:

Disney will release Beauty and the Beast in 3D on March 17, 2017. The beloved tale will be retold for the big screen with a modern live-action lens and the help of transformative CG magic. Emma Watson and Dan Stevens will star as Belle and the Beast/Prince respectively, and Luke Evans will play the role of Gaston. Emma Thompson has joined the cast as Mrs. Potts and Kevin Kline as Belle’s father, Maurice.

Eight-time Oscar-winner Alan Menken, who won two Academy Awards for the 1991 animated classic, will score the film, which will feature new recordings of the original songs in addition to several new songs written by Menken and Sir Tim Rice. Bill Condon will direct from a script by Stephen Chbosky, and the film will be produced by Mandeville Films’ David Hoberman and Todd Lieberman. Production begins in May at Shepperton Studios in London.