Comics, TV, Zombies

The Walking Dead Recap: Delicious Chocolate Buttons

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If you write erotic fan fiction and you only see one episode this season – last night’s is it.

Thoughts while watching:

-So, this Olivia girl – How does she stay fat? And what do you want to bet the casting breakdown said “Melissa McCarthy type”?

-There are boars around? Or did she mean “bores”? You can find them on the show that’s on right after this one.

-Okay, this seems like the most dramatic suicide attempt ever now. Using one of those bullets on yourself doesn’t strike you as a far better option, Sasha? I must admit I’d rather become a zombie than shoot myself – having that experience before you die might just be fun; you just never know.

-Carol thinks like a detective. Nice

-“W”? Is George Bush going around marking his territory? Like, a war on literal terror?

-Michonne and Rick to star in 48 HOURS…AGAIN

-“Come out! Now!” Ha ha, he just told a gay guy to come out. That’s ironic, because Aaron should be saying it to him.

“They believe in this because I’m telling them to” – That’s Robert Kirkman’s philosophy too.

-Sasha has crazy eyes now – I wouldn’t trust her with a gun on a clock tower.

– Mashed lima beans with cocoa powder. Somebody else try that and tell me how it is.

-“His name’s Buttons” Because he butts in to the storyline, one supposes.

-Aaron, are you seriously going to compare homophobia to people being afraid of dirt-covered rednecks with crossbows? Isn’t that a bit like comparing actual racism to affirmative action?

“They have beer.” “I’ma try.” Atta boy, Abe

-Deanna’s hubby Reg looks like Chevy Chase got fused with Garry Shandling in a Fly-style telepod and lost his chin.

-Okay, who’ll be the first to write a fanfic where the walkers have sex with the horse? What about one where Aaron and Daryl join in?

-Too late. Buttons is now their little pony, their chewy pony, ahhh-ah-ah, ah ah.

-DAMMIT DARYL YOU KILLED THE HORSE BY BEING NICE! ‘Twas booty killed the Buttons

-“Come in. Have some dinner.” GET IT IT’S IRONIC MIRRORING OF WHEN DARYL SAID “COME OUT.”

-Rick is putting up with this lecture about survival because a pretty girl is saying it. Anyone else would be smacked in the face by now.

-Also, Rick’s clean shave is already disappearing fast.

-A scarlet “A” is the official handstamp of Alexandria? Well, that ‘s a loaded logo. Why didn’t they just name the hot blonde Hester and be completely obvious?

-We go from talk about a pasta maker to Daryl slurping spaghetti. And in case you didn’t get it, Eric actually mentions the damn pasta maker again.

-“You do know the difference between a good person and a bad person” You wouldn’t say that if you’d known his brother.

-“I am a large man and I have had many beers to make up for that” I use that line often myself.

-I just noticed Michonne has a little “M” around her neck on her necklace. Todd McFarlane probably thinks it stands for “Malebolgia.”

-Holy shit, Carol the child killer kicking in! Hugely ill-advised threat to make, but awesome.

-“It’s been a long time since I held one of these” Rick hopes she’ll say that about his penis later. Just sayin’.

-“Away in a Manger”? Is it Christmas? Because I only see one HO, not three! Oooh burn.

-Oh, they do have a book club? Just a suggestion: The Scarlet Letter next month

-Great, give the PTSD nutcase extra ammo. Isn’t that how Chris Kyle died?

-Speaking of PTSD, Rick seems to have gotten over his mighty quickly

-Is that a gun in Rick’s pants, or is he just happy to see her?

-Next week, Gabriel uses the Bible to predict shit will go wrong, and Eugene acts like a jackass. Or something. Both the Bible and Eugene can be real downers sometimes.

About Author

Luke Y. Thompson has been writing professionally about movies and pop-culture since 1999, and has also been an actor in some extremely cheap culty and horror movies you will probably never hear much about (he is nonetheless mostly proud of them, as he met his wife on one). As editor of The Robot's Voice since 2012, he can take the blame for the majority of the site's content, all of which he creates because he loves you very, very much. (Although he loves nachos more. Sorry.) Prior to TRV, Luke wrote for publications that include the New Times LA, Los Angeles CityBeat, E! Online, OC Weekly, Geekweek, GeekChicDaily, The L.A. Times, The Village Voice, LA Weekly, and Nerdist