Tim Burton Will Direct Live-Action Dumbo, Because God Hates Us All

elephant by Brittany H.

Oh, Tim. You almost had your credibility back with Big Eyes. Did its lack of awards love send you back to the [poseur version of the]dark side?

And Disney, oh, Disney – some creativity here would have been nice. Like, I would love to see what Spike Lee would have done with those jive-talking crows. Instead, literally the only part of this project I’m interested in is the Pink Elephants number, because it’ll probably be stop-motion. The rest, I can already picture in my head, and as the mash-up I made above indicates, it ain’t pretty.