Good News: There’s a Jupiter Ascending Toy! Bad News: It’s From Tonner


Even if it is too little, too late, I’m all for Jupiter Ascending merchandise after the fact, since at least I’ll feel slightly more vindicated for liking it than I did John Carter and The Lone Ranger if people actually buy this stuff.

But oh, how I wish Tonner dolls were not the company that chose to execute the rights. I get it – the perception is that the movie resonated mainly with girls and women, so you go with a girly toy company. But do dolls for girls have to look like zombiefied, plastic-surgeried-and-wax-drowned versions of the characters, rather than the actual actors?

I don’t believe so. But Tonner seems intent on proving me wrong. And they’re betting $240 per doll on it.