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Good News: There’s a Jupiter Ascending Toy! Bad News: It’s From Tonner


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Even if it is too little, too late, I’m all for Jupiter Ascending merchandise after the fact, since at least I’ll feel slightly more vindicated for liking it than I did John Carter and The Lone Ranger if people actually buy this stuff.

But oh, how I wish Tonner dolls were not the company that chose to execute the rights. I get it – the perception is that the movie resonated mainly with girls and women, so you go with a girly toy company. But do dolls for girls have to look like zombiefied, plastic-surgeried-and-wax-drowned versions of the characters, rather than the actual actors?

I don’t believe so. But Tonner seems intent on proving me wrong. And they’re betting $240 per doll on it.