E3, as you know, is an industry-only show, and unfortunately unavailable to many fans who’d love to check out all the newest games. We can’t get you in there, but we can do the next best thing. Having forced Bryce and Kyle to surrender their free swag on pain of death (just kidding: pain of cramming), I’m now going to give it to one of you. This package of exclusive stuff includes a Banjo-Kazooie giant foam hand, Oculus Rift T-shirt, Star Wars Infinity 3.0 Yoda figure, Armikrog original character sketch signed by Earthworm Jim artist Mike Dietz, a poster from Devolver Digital, Dark Souls 3 power bank and Tom Clancy’s The Division snow globe.
At Bryce’s suggestion, here are the rules: in comments below, come up with a porn parody name for a video game, in the vein of Wood Rocket’s “Strokemon.” You may enter up to five names, and whichever I like best, for whatever reason, I will pick. I’ll close the contest this coming Monday, June 29th, at noon.