I Praised Warren Ellis’ Penis and I Didn’t Even Get This Lousy T-Shirt
Let me set the scene — G.I. Joe: Resolute comes out a few weeks ago. As you might recall, it’s awesome. In a post from April 24th, I say about Resolute scriptwriter Warren Ellis:
You know how we all complain that so-and-so raped our childhoods? Well,
this is the exact opposite. I used this line in my Twitter, but I stand
by it — G.I. Joe: Resolute is like Warren Ellis made tender, passionate love to our childhoods, and he had an enormous dick.
Now, today, someone sends the following pic to Warren Ellis of the shirt she wore to see Star Trek last night:
What. The. Fuckbuckets. I am simultaneously proud and irked, mostly because whoever made this shirt didn’t send me one. Topless Roboteers, I call on you — find this woman and/or the shirt-maker, and have them get in touch with me at [email protected] so we can rectify this injustice immediately. I don’t praise people’s penises for my health, you know.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.