I Praised Warren Ellis’ Penis and I Didn’t Even Get This Lousy T-Shirt

Let me set the scene — G.I. Joe: Resolute comes out a few weeks ago. As you might recall, it’s awesome. In a post from April 24th, I say about Resolute scriptwriter Warren Ellis:

You know how we all complain that so-and-so raped our childhoods? Well,
this is the exact opposite. I used this line in my Twitter, but I stand
by it — G.I. Joe: Resolute is like Warren Ellis made tender, passionate love to our childhoods, and he had an enormous dick.

Now, today, someone sends the following pic to Warren Ellis of the shirt she wore to see Star Trek last night:
What. The. Fuckbuckets. I am simultaneously proud and irked, mostly because whoever made this shirt didn’t send me one. Topless Roboteers, I call on you — find this woman and/or the shirt-maker, and have them get in touch with me at [email protected] so we can rectify this injustice immediately. I don’t praise people’s penises for my health, you know.