Nintendo Wants to Make Me Look Like an Idiot


?(Given the nonsense of last night, the article title is a softball for you people.) Although I’m pretty much done with the Wii, I never minded how silly waving the Wii-mote around makes me any anyone look. Frankly, I look far stupider when playing Rock Band, and I play that much more. I didn’t really approve of that Mario Kart wheel, but mostly because it was a difficult way to play the game, and not because it makes people look ridiculous. The point is, I don’t have a lot of dignity when it comes to playing games.

That said, I’m not going to sit on an inflatable fucking saddle. Do you hear me, Nintendo? I’m just not. From Digital Spy:

Nintendo has filed a European patent application for an inflatable
horseback riding-style saddle controller for the Wii, reports Siliconera.

to technical specifications detailed with the application, the seat
works by placing the Wii Remote in a dedicated pocket to sense movement
via accelerometers. Gamers then hold the nunchuck up with a raised hand
to simulate “bronco riding, a lasso, a sword or other weapon”.

approved, the seat would be made from inflatable material similar to
“conventional inflatable exercise balls”, with the advantage of being
“compact to ship and store”.

Nintendo said: “The Wii main unit
can display the back of a horse’s head and background of a trail, a
field, a battlefield or other environment the virtual horse is being
ridden through. The image may change in response to detected motion of
the user.”

Along with horses, the device can also control “bulls,
camels, elephants, burros, dolphins, whales”, as well as fictional
creatures such as “dragons, griffons, unicorns, giant eagles”.

can further be used for simulating various vehicles such as “hang
gliders or other aircraft, a magic carpet, a motorcycle, a jet-ski, a
land or sea exploration vehicles”.

That all sounds pretty fun, actually, if I weren’t going to have to sit on an blow-up toy to do so. I’ve drawn the line at how stupid I’m willing to look while playing videogames, and sitting on inflatable saddles is past it. Way, way past it. Thanks to Snoodle for the tip.