Masters of the Universe Movie Is Canceled… BOOYAH

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I’m sorry to have to break out the “BOOYAH” in the title, but search engines don’t like it when blog post titles are titled things like “FUCKING FANTASTIC.” That’s right, I’m happy that Warner Bros. and shit producer Joel Silver and Mattel have broken up and that’s there’s no He-Man movie getting made. Why? Mainly because the last time we’d heard about the He-Man movie, the theoretically awesome and series accurate movie script written by Justin Marks had been jettisoned by Silver for this:

Warners sees the big-screen version as a gritty fantasy and
reimagines Adam as a soldier who sets off to find his destiny,
happening upon the magical world of Eternia. There, Skeletor has
raised a technological army and is bent on eradicating magic.

Yes, Astronaut He-Man vs the magic-hating sorceror Skeletor — pretty much the only movie worse than the ’87 Lundgren affair.

BUT NOW IT ISN’T HAPPENING. Mattel can take the property to another studio who might not fuck it up. They probably will — they almost certainly will — but now I don’t have to think about it, or worry about it for a while, or lie in bed at night, covered in a cold sweat, praying to the dark lord to prevent that abortion of a MOTU movie from occurring. Satan has heard my prayers! Now I just have to figure out what to do with all those dead goats in my basement. (Via Variety)