Fan Fiction Friday: Naruto and Sora in “Kohona’s Keyhole”

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?This fan fic by Croup has been sent to me by many people over the past few months, which should tell you something. While having a knowledge of the basic Kingdom Hearts storyline would help you understand this story better — particularly that KH star Sora wields a large key called a Keyblade, and that he’s looking for locks to “seal” various Disney worlds — it’s not strictly necessary as long as you enjoy tales of teenage boys sticking things up each other’s asses.

“No! Absolutely not! No way!” Naruto staunchly refused.

“Aw, c’mon, Naruto,” Sora said. “You understand my predicament! It’s to
find my friend! You know what that’s like–you’re looking for your
friend too, aren’t you?”

“H–hey! Don’t bring Sasuke into this!” Naruto said. “That’s completely different.”

“But still,” Sora said. “You’d do anything to get him back, right? I feel just the same about Riku!”

“Well, that is . . . ” Naruto faltered a little. Then he puffed back
up. “That doesn’t mean I’m letting you shove a giant key up my ass!”

And let’s just save the rest of this until after the jump.

The two spiky-haired teens stood in a forest clearing outside Konoha
village, in a face-off. A minute ago they’d just been fooling around
with each other. What a time for Sora to finally discover where
Konoha’s keyhole was located.

“Listen,” Sora tried to reason, “I don’t know why this world’s keyhole is in your, er, butthole, anymore than you do. But I’ve just gotta close it! Every world I close is one more world that the Heartless can’t get to!”

Yes, the “keyhole” to Naruto’s world of Kohona is in Naruto’s ass. Necessitating that Sora fuck Naruto anally with his Keyblade. It probably goes without saying, but just in case, none of the actual KH keyholes are in anybody’s asses. Just so you know.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head dismally. “I guess I get all that.
And I was happy to whip those Heartless Akatsuki guys with you and
everything, but . . . C’mon, Sora! This is my ass we’re talking about
here! My tight, defenseless, virgin ass!”

You know, if you describe your own ass as tight, defenseless and virgin, you’re really just begging someone to shove something up it.

“Please, Naruto?” Sora asked. His eyes pleaded silently.

Naruto grimaced, and eyed the huge key in Sora’s grip. The thing was
solid-looking, hard and thick, and his ass-cheeks clenched just at the
thought of taking it in. It was way too big to possibly fit.

Then he looked back at Sora’s face. Aw, fuck. This guy could give Akamaru a run for his money with the puppy-dog eyes.

I’d like to think that no possible puppy-dog eyes would convince me to let a friend or loved one shove something up my ass, but then I remembered Ms. Robot once got me to go see Legally Blonde 2 in theaters, so I guess anything is possible.

“This Riku guy . . . He’s your best friend?” Naruto asked.

Sora nodded simply. “Yeah.”

“And you guys fight sometimes but, in the end, you’d do anything for the guy?”

Another nod. “Yeah.”

“Shit . . . ” Naruto huffed. “You’re lucky that I’m gonna be Hokage
someday,” he said, and fumbled with his pants. “That means I gotta be
able to handle any adversity to protect a comrade. Or a member of your
village. Or a friend. Or . . . a friend of a friend. Whatever.”

You know what’s tragic? This is actually far less embarrassing than the actual Naruto episode when he peed on all his friends for 10 straight minutes. I’m not joking.

“Naruto!” Sora smiled wide. “You’re gonna do it!?”

“Yeah. I can’t believe it, but I am . . . ” Naruto muttered, and then
dropped his drawers. He stuck his bare ass out at Sora. “Just . . . be

Sora stared at Naruto’s butt for a second. That was the roundest, most
bubbly keyhole he’d ever tried to lock. “Uh, right. The Keyblade is
special. It might feel weird or uncomfortable going up you, but I don’t
think it’ll cause any damage. I’ll still use its smallest form, though.
That’ll be the least . . . intrusive.”

Does “roundest, most bubbly keyhole” bother you guys immensely too? Just checking.

“Great,” Naruto said. He got down on his hands and knees. “Uhh, do it like this?”

“Yeah, that’s good,” said Sora. He pointed the Keyblade at Naruto’s
ass. Seemingly by themselves, Naruto’s round buttocks parted, and that
pink virgin rosebud of his appeared. A glow shined out from his ass

I’m just going to assume “pink virgin rosebud” bothers you. If it doesn’t, please keep that to yourselves.

“Woah! Wh–what the hell is that!?” Naruto asked.

“Oh. Don’t worry. Stuff like that always happens,” Sora answered off-handedly.

A beam of light shot out from the tip of the Keyblade, straight into Naruto’s shining asshole.

“Naruto’s Shining Asshole” would be an awesome name for a terrible anime-themed band.

“Ah!” Naruto yelped–and then moaned. His toes curled.

“You okay, Naruto?”

“Yeah. It just, ooh, tingles . . . “

“Okay,” said Sora. “If you’re still alright, then here it comes.”

Like it was moving on it’s own volition, and Sora was just the schmuck
holding the handle, the Keyblade drew closer to the leaf-nin’s
tempting, twitching backside. It pressed between Naruto’s firm cheeks,
dimpling both sides.

“I’ll try to go slow . . . ” Sora said, concentrating on that glowing bubble-butt.

“Alright . . . ” Naruto said, his breath catching at the cold anal contact.

“Cold Anal Contact” would be… oh, you know.

It squeezed past those anxious buttocks. Naruto groaned a little bit,
but otherwise there was no resistance as it slid along smoothly–like
Naruto’s ass was a well oiled lock. The cool metal felt hard and alien
inside him and, was it just him, or was the Keyblade throbbing a
little? The thing came to to a stop at his entrance.

I admit, if this was just an elaborate plot by Sora to anally rape Naruto, I’d laugh my own anxious buttocks off. He’s not, unfortunately. This is all key-on-terrible-ninja action.

“Are you ready for it to go in?” Sora asked.

“Just, ahrn, do it!”

Sora nodded in determination. “Okay!”

With an “oomph,” Sora pushed the thing inside. Naruto let out a hard yelp as sphincter reflexively tightened around it.

“Ahh . . . shit!” He groaned, squirming his asscheeks around the shaft. “Ghck! H–hurts! Too . . . big!”

“Sorry, Naruto! Just a little further!” Sora promised. “I think we’re almost there.”

“H–hurry!” Naruto panted. He could feel the shape of the thing–it’s
head and shaft and teeth–all violating him. “I don’t think I
can–nng!–take much more!”

Please try not to think about this every time you put your key in your front doors locks this weekend. Oh! I probably shouldn’t have said anything, because now you’ll be certain to think of it every time you put your keys in those virgin locks! My apologies.

Sora slowly, inch by inch, slid the the slick Keyblade further up
Naruto’s ass. He watched as those round, tan buns engulfed more and
more of the thick weapon. Naruto arched his back and moaned as he was
painfully, torturously, key-fucked. His entire asshole felt like it was
being ripped and stretched apart.

Then, with an audible click, the Keyblade locked into place. A jolt ran
down Naruto’s spine, and he gasped. That key . . . it suddenly felt
kinda good.

“Aaah . . . Is–Is that it?” he groaned out. His ass felt completely stuffed.

“Uhh . . . almost,” said Sora. “Now I just gotta, uh, turn it.”


“E–EH!? Hey–you never said anything about turning the damn thing! That’s gonna hurt like a bitch, you–!”

“Sorry, Naruto!” Sora said, and twisted the Keyblade.

“Aaahhh–AAAHHH!!” Naruto yelled. The whole insides of his ass felt like it was being scraped raw by the Keyblade’s teeth.

But then, the Keyblade had made a ninety degree twist, and there was
another click, like tumblers falling into place–and Naruto felt
himself doing the impossible.

He was cumming. Hard.

Anyone who didn’t seeing this cumming coming is automatically failed and sent back to Remiedial FFF 102. Please read about Goku and Anne Frank in “Until the End of Time” and turn in a 5-page paper about how fucking crazy it is.

Great strings of semen shot out from his suddenly engorged, aroused
cock, looping and spiraling all over the place. Naruto couldn’t believe
how much was being discharged. It felt like his full, teenaged balls
had just completely emptied themselves, right there–and then kept on
going. He heard himself giving off long, horny moans as his cock shot
over and over. It was like something had been unlocked within him, via
prostate, along with whatever else the Keyblade had done in there.

The first Kingdom Heart theme song is called, no shit, “Simple and Clean.” I find it makes a perfect soundtrack to this scene.

He opened his eyes to stars and fireworks. At first, he thought that
he’d shot his load so hard that he was literally seeing spots, but no.
There literally were sparkles in the air, drifting and tinkling around.
And there was an outline of a big keyhole on the ground around him,
brightly shimmering. After a few moments, it faded from view.

“Now, was . . . was that it?” Naruto asked.

“Yeah,” Sora said with a chuckle. “I think that was the, uh, climax.”

The guy slowly pulled the Keyblade out from the exhausted ninja keyhole. It exited Naruto’s rump slickly, moist and satiated.

“That was . . . the most . . . I’ve ever cum . . . in my life . . . ” Naruto moaned.

Once you go giant key, you can’t go… whatever.

“Heh, yeah.” Sora tapped Naruto’s butt with the Keyblade. “This thing
is great for all kinds of things!” He beamed at Naruto. “Thanks,
Naruto! Thanks to you, this world will be safe from the Heartless. And
now I’m one step closer to finding Riku!”

“Ahhn, I don’t really get it, but you’re welcome,” Naruto said with a wince. “Anytime.”

I’m extremely grateful that Sora isn’t sniffing his ass-soaked keyblade.

“Will you keep an eye out for Riku for me?” Sora asked. “He might still come here.”

“Sure,” said Naruto. “Man! I seriously thought we had him when we
caught that Suigetsu guy. But yeah, I’ll keep my eyes peeled. How about
you, you’re moving on?”

“I’ve gotta.” Sora nodded. “But I’ll stop by this world again sometime. For a visit.” He grinned.

Naruto reached back to rub at his poor, stretched asshole. “Next time,” he muttered, “You’re the one bottoming.”

Ha ha! Naruto wants to anally rape Sora now! So wacky! I assume he’ll stick that giant scroll that appeared in the first episode of Naruto and was never seen again up Sora’s ass. Or maybe he’ll bring in a few dozen of his shadow clones, and they’ll take turns raping him! Whee! Ha ha! Oh, when will death come…