?HO. HO. FUCKING. HO. If you thought that I was going to go easy on you guys after last week’s nightmare, perhaps out of some kind of holiday spirit, well, I would have liked to. Unfortunately, a flat-out blatant Christmas-themed FFF trumps my meager amount of good will towards men, and that why I bring you more underage sexcapades, this time starring cartoon animals.
A few months had passed since Buster had his first “encounter” with the
principal. The first yes, but certainly not the last. The principal had
initiated something new with Buster, sex with an adult, something
similar, yet so different as when he did it with a comrade. Sex with
Babs, sex with Plucky, sex with Bugs and even sex with Lola… all
different, all pleasurable, all priceless. Over time, Babs had some
encounters with the principal and the gym teacher also, as well as
Plucky and some of their other friends. The most surprising thing was
that Shirly, Plucky’s girlfriend, was not jealous at all. He could roam
around like that as much as he wanted, as long as the young duck as
ready when she needed it. No worries there, Plucky was probably the
horniest toon in Acme Acres.
They were now in December, the last day of school before the Christmas
break. During lunch break, Buster and Babs had met up with the
principal at his office. Lola was inside as well.
“So,” Buster asked, “why did you call us here?”
“Well, I had an idea,” Bugs responded.
“WE had an idea,” corrected the gym teacher. “During the break, we want
to invite you kids, along with your friends, to a Christmas party.”
“Of the humping kind?” Babs asked.
“What else! It’d be sometime soon after Christmas, at my place,” added
the principal. “We’d prepare a meal and all. I’m sure I don’t even need
to ask, but are you interested?”
OH, THE HUMPING KIND. This story is actually from Bahamut Dragons, whose graphic tale of Yoda initiating a Jedi Padawan Roman Polanski-style was featured in FFF more than a year ago. But that story is A Charlie Brown Christmas compared to the shit that’s about to go down.
I’m going to skip as much of this story as I can, both for my own sanity and because I think it’s what baby Jesus would want. Suffice to say that Buster Bunny, Babs Bunny, Plucky Duck, and Fifi the Pepe Le Pew-like female skunk come over to Principal Bugs Bunny’s house, where he lives in sin with Lola Bunny (the adult girl bunny from Space Jam) for Christmas dinner and the traditional Christmas orgy. And when I say “lives in sin,” it’s not because I disapprove of men and women living together before they’re married; it’s because of shit like this —
So, what have you prepared for us ce soir,” the skunk asked before eating a spoonful of soup.
“Well, we put each of our names in a bag and we’ll couple each other
randomly. That way we can vary our pleasures fairly,” Bugs explained.
“Sounds good to me,” Buster replied before chomping of some carrot salad.
The meal was pretty delicious and the conversation, lively. It was
interesting to see the students talk to their teachers truly like
friends rather then teachers. Especially interesting was how they kept
up with more complicated matter, given the age difference. But it was
true they were having sex, among themselves and the adults, which
showed they were quite mature.
Can you see the logical fallacy in that last sentence? If you can’t, please immediately place yourself in jail.
Towards the end of the meal,
anticipation started to rise. They brought the plates and utensils to
the dishwasher, cleaned up the table and washed the pans. It all seemed
like torture to them all, but at the same time, it made them digest as
to not have cramps later on.
As we all know, do not fuck children less than an hour after eating, or you’ll get quite the tummy ache!
Finally, all the chores were done as they returned to the living room. Bugs took the bag where he had put all the names.
“No one objects to being with anyone,” he asked. Upon receiving only
negative nods, he held out the bag to Lola. “You may have the honor.”
Lola put her hand in the bag and removed two tags: “Buster… and me… Plucky and Babs, which leaves Fifi and Bugs.”
Strangely, everyone now seemed why in front of this set situation.
Everyone but the ever horny Fifi that is: “Yay! I get to taste manly
cock. Viens ? moi mon lapin.” She literally leapt on Bugs, projecting
him on the couch. He parted his legs and offered himself to her, a gift
she could not refuse. Fifi gave the erect cock a single rough lick,
from bottom to top, where she probed the cock slit, tasting the precum
and sending a shiver down Bugs’ spine.
THEY’RE TINY, THEY’RE CORNY, THEY’RE MORE THAN SLIGHTLY HORNY
Lola took the cue and kissed Buster lightly on the lips. Their tongues
joined in a sensual dance as she brought the blue bunny to the couch as
well. Having made him sit, the gym teacher broke the kiss and descended
to where his young cock was unsheathing. Mimicking the skunk’s
technique, she licked from base to top, massaging his blue balls at the
same time. Buster started to moan as she reached the top, taking the
head in her mouth for an instant before releasing it again.
Fifi took the act as a challenge, one she was very up to. She took Bugs
cock head in her mouth as well, licking all around it at the same time.
Fifi then used her left hand to start massaging the gray hare’s ball
and licked the forefinger of her other hand before inserting it in his
ass. The act made Bugs jump slightly, but he immediately regained his
state of passion.
Beside her, Lola licked from the head down to the balls, oblivious to
Fifi’s competitive state. She took a ball in her mouth and sucked it
gently, knowing how sensitive it was. Buster put his hands on her head
as an automatic response. He then turned his head to Bugs. They gave
each other an understood look before returning to their bliss.
I’d like to think that look was:
?…but I sort of doubt it.
In an other spot of the room, Plucky and Babs looked at each other
intensively. They had never done this with each other before and it
felt awkward to be in this position.
Yes, yes. The first time a five-year-old ducks fucks a five-year-old rabbit it can be a tad awkward! Ha ha ha HA HA HAAAAHAAAAAARRRRGGHHHH
“Well, oral sex seems to be popular this time of year,” Plucky said to
try and get something, ANYTHING, going.
?And we’ve moved right past the face-melting into head-exploding territory. I’m sure you understand.
All he got back was a nervous
laugh from Babs. He approached the pink bunny awkwardly and placed a
kiss on her lips, at first light, then she returned it with passion.
From an outside perspective, the meeting of a bill with a mouth would
have been laughable, but between the two, it was sensual and exiting.
Plucky put a green-feathered hand on Babs’ small pink nipple, rubbing
it softly, making her tingle with excitement. He backed her up to the
wall, kissing deeply as he went.
Seriously, people. SERIOUSLY. How do you type the sentence “Plucky put a green-feathered hand on Babs’ small pink nipple, rubbing
it softly, making her tingle with excitement” and not just hate yourself? How do you keep from sobbing constantly at what you’ve done?
The duckling lifted one of her legs in an attempt to penetrate her on
the spot, something he failed to do. Babs broke the kiss to laugh
lightly, before helping him direct his erect dick into her. He entered
slowly, not being able to do other in this complicated position,
especially for two youngsters. Finally, Babs lifted her other leg and
wrapped them both around his waist, impaling herself completely on his
meat in the same motion. Plucky grabbed her hips and started thrusting
in and out of her. No one would of thought it possible, but the green
duck had not only managed to take Babs on the wall, but he also gave
strong and steady pumps inside of her. Sex gave him wings… well,
It’s like red bull for pedobestiality.
He continued pounding on her, taking a sensitive nipple
in his bill at the same time and sucking on it, making Babs cry out her
passion and surprise the other four people in the room.
“HOLY SHIT! THAT DUCK IS FUCKING THAT RABBIT!”
Buster and Bugs were in an erotic trance as Lola had picked up on the
competitiveness and was now trying, not as much to make Buster cum, but
to make him scream louder then Bugs. His small cock was now completely
into her loud as he sucked and licked it, sometimes releasing it for a
quick ball suck before returning to the meat. Fifi was going much more
aggressively, in her own manner. She sucked strongly on the lick,
licking and tasting it like crazy while she probed his asshole with a
finger. Both bunnies were moaning pretty strongly however and a judge
would have had trouble declaring a victor.
A judge would have trouble delacring a victor BECAUSE HE WOULD BE HANDING DOWN CONSECUTIVE LIFE SENTENCES FOR STATUTORY RAPE.
Praise had to go to the
males however: God only knows how they had kept their semen inside for
OH, I don’t think God has anything to do with this.
Finally, Fifi gave Bugs’ cock one last strong suck before he exploded
in her mouth, sending out waves after waves of cum, all of which she
swallowed as she always did. The purple skunk loved the taste of cum
and drank it all avidly, licking and sucking like a wild animal, never
having enough until she was confident Bugs was empty… for the moment.
Lola was finishing her task as well. She kept licking all around,
sucking the cock head, then licking again, making Buster moan strongly
and finally cry out in ecstasy as he sent his cum all over Lola’s face.
The pink rabbit receive it with a big smile, licking it off a little,
what she could manage. When the young bunny finished cumming, she put
his cock back in her mouth, to suck it clean, before joining his lips
to hers. Of course, he had tasted cum many times before and shared some
with their owner, but he had never tasted him. The mix of saliva and
cum made a very particular taste, one he liked a lot. Both couple ended
up in a strong hug, one that resumed the passion that had gone between
them only a few moments earlier.
AT ACME UNIVERSITY WE EARN A SOLID REAMIN’, THE TEACHING STAFF ALL FUCK US AND WE SOMETIMES TASTE OUR SEMEN
Meanwhile, Plucky had changed position. Babs was now hands upon the
wall as he sodomized her intensely. Her ass was virgin until Plucky,
who didn’t know about it, decided to take her from the back. She didn’t
ever have time to contest, and she was glad she didn’t too. The feeling
was one that she never could of imagined. And Plucky was getting a kick
out of it too. It had been some time since he had probed such a tight
ass, his favorites. Since he was still a kid and his dick was so small,
it wasn’t easy to find but he had in his best friend’s girlfriend. How
ironic. And pleasurable.
Suddenly, I have utterly forgiven Alan Morissette’s misuse of the word “irony.” Clearly there are far, far worst misuses of it out there. And what is Plucky having trouble finding? His own dick? Babs’ “virgin” ass? A sense of dignity? Also, fun fact: Guys, try suddenly and without warning to have anal sex with your loved ones — just thrust in there and go for it. And when the police ask why, just explain it worked out so well for Plucky Duck!
He continued to thrust into her, melding green feathers and pink fur
for moments. She rocked her hips as well. Both felt they were coming to
orgasm soon and so, both intensified their pumping until finally,
Plucky released himself, feeling her ass with thick white goo. It
didn’t prevent him for continuing his motion, wanting Babs to get off
as well. The slick sensation in her ass doubled by the pounding meat
finally got her over the edge and she just cried out her love. Finally,
still joined, Plucky and Babs fell to the floor, slowly. The green duck
rolled of with a squishy sound, panting.
It’s like decorating a Christmas tree, but instead of a tree it’s an underage bunny’s asshole!
Everyone had big smiles on their faces, some licked with the smiles of
others. The night had started most excellently and it wasn’t over.
Buster, got up, still a little weak from his strong orgasm, and went to
the name bag.
“Ok, now let’s try threesomes!” he said enthusiastically.
FUCK AND NO. If you want to read about the threesomes of Babs, Plucky and Fifi, along with Bugs, Buster and Lola, you go right ahead. That graphic description of Plucky anally powerdrilling Babs Bunny is all I need to want to drink myself to death tonight. I will give you a few highlights from the remainder of the naughtiness:
Immediately, she went to Plucky’s now limp pride and licked it
all around, tasting the mix of duck cum and bunny ass, a strong taste
for sure, but she had tasted far worst. …
“Monsieur Duck,” she said with a light French accent, “you will now put your meat into me and fuck me like never before.” …
And without further ado, Bugs turned to Lola’s side and placed his cock
at the entrance of her anal hole. On the other side of her, Buster
prepared to plug her other hole.
“Ready,” Bugs asked to Buster.
“Ready,” Buster confirmed. …
Buster didn’t care much; he was nearing orgasm and was now putting
everything he could into getting the fastest tempo possible. He pumped
like a madman, eyes closed, hands holding her hips to keep his balance.
Eventually, even the author is tired of all the fucking, and begins to wrap it up:
Ten minutes later, they
were all refreshed and as in sex devils possessed them, were ready to
screw some more. And through out the night, they did, sometimes drawing
names form the bag, sometimes playing games like sex poker and
sometimes just getting together. They didn’t want the night to send but
by 3:30 am, all of their energy reserves were spent. The kids ended up
sleeping there, leaving the morning after.
Because it would be dangerous to send the kids out that late at night! You see? YOU SEE?!
“Well, thank you for this wonderful evening,” Babs said to their hosts.
“Your welcome, all of you, I hope we can do this again sometimes,” replied Lola.
“Just name the time and the place and I’ll be there,” Buster said.
“I just hope our other friends can come next time,” Plucky added.
“Au revoir, mon petit lapin”, Fifi said seductively as she placed a
last, passionate kiss on Bugs lips before leaving with the others.
As the kids were getting far, Bugs remembered: “Oh, and by the way… Merry Christmas!”
?Yes, merry fucking Christmas indeed. The only thing I can think to say positive about this story is that it really had very little to actually do with Christmas; if the kids had opened presents of dildos or Fifi had the Christmas tree jammed up her ass, I’d have killed myself when I first read the story months ago. But just because the story’s over doesn’t mean the horror is over, oh no. Bahamut Dragons actually began the piece with a few author’s notes that I feel compelled to share with you now:
Yay! A new work of art by me! Well, I don’t think Warner Bros would
agree it’s a work of art, but still, I’m quite proud of it. It’s my
Christmas special to all of you, even if Christmas ended two weeks ago
as of the time I finished it. I’ll try to make Xmas 2k3 on time.
It’s all right, BD. I think we all hate you just as much now as if you’d written it a few weeks ago.
Before starting to write this fic, there was one thing I hated: writing
accents. That means I hate Bunnie (StH), Fifi (TT), etc. I’ve learned
to hate something else: furry food scenes. I don’t know what they
should eat! The rabbits were easy but I had to keep Fifi and Plucky’s
choices in the dark for that reason. I know I shouldn’t serve meat, but
what about the rest? Dairy products are particularly mind-boggling
because I’ve seen them drink milk, but when you think about the method
to acquire it… I hate furry food scenes.
GUH. That was your problem? You just wrote about underage cartoon animals fucking each other and THE FUCKING DINNER SCENE IS WHAT YOU HAD DIFFICULTY WITH?
I was a little unsure as to if they should say grace, but Christmas is
a Christian tradition and it felt only natural to reflect that.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.