Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Horrible Cutesy Anime Girl Adaptation
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?You’re looking at Tantei Opera Milky Holmes — a cutesy anime girl adaptation of Sherlock Holmes. I’m looking at my own fists, covered in blood, because I apparently blacked out and killed a hobo or something when I first learned of this from AnimeVice.
Despite some claims to the contrary, I’m probably more pro-anime than 75% visiting Topless Robot. But this… this drives me crazy. I think it’s a sensitive subject for me, because of the new Guy Ritchie movie coming out in a few weeks, where Sherlock Holmes is a kung fu master full or quips and not, you know, Sherlock Holmes. Having read the original stories, many, many times, I’ll be the first to admit that Holmes is more of a physical badass than most previous adaptations have given him credit for — albeit in a very 19th century kind of way — but all the ads for this movie focus on the hitting and joking, while there’s nothing that even implies that Holmes is A) a genius or B) going to solve a fucking mystery, which should probably first on the checklist on any Sherlock Holmes movie.
As for Tantei Opera Milky Holmes… it’s called MILKY FUCKING HOLMES. Please excuse me while I beat another hobo to death.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.