Blu-ray

DVD Day: March 16th, 2009

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? Mystery Science Theater 3000 Vol. XVII
You know if there’s a new MST set out, I’m gonna pimp it pretty hard. Luckily, this set is worth all the praise I can heap on it; it includes The Crawling Eye (the very first MST episode!), The Beatniks (a classic Joel joint), and The Final Sacrifice and The Blood Waters of Dr. Z (two of the most bafflingly awful films they ever did). Indeed, The Final Sacrifice is one of MST‘s gems, starring as it does the mulleted Zap Rowsdower, whose highlight reel is above. Zap Rowsdower, I LOVE YOU.

? The Twilight Saga: New Moon
I just thought you should be aware this comes out this week, although it’s actually being released Saturday and not today. I have to admit I’ll be ordering this on Netflix, just like the first one. Why? Here’s why.

? Ninja Assassin
The Wachowski brothers/siblings’ faux ninja movie starring Korean pop star/Stephen Colbert nemesis Rain. I didn’t see it, but I’m interested. Any thoughts?

? The Princess and the Frog
Disney’s return to 2-D animation. I doubt it’s going to hurt for cash, but again, I thought you ought to be aware.

? Astro Boy
Meanwhile, the abomination that was the American Astro Boy movie is also out today. Again, be aware it’s out — not so you can buy it, but so you can urinate on it when you see it at Target, Best Buy, etc.

? The Vengeance Trilogy
If you’ve seen Oldboy, you know that it is a truly awesome film. but you might not know that it was part of a trilogy, based on one story or set of characters, but about people getting the most insane vengeance possible. I think this is the first time all three movies, including Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance and Lady Vengeance, have been released in one set. Highly recommended.

? Gladiformers
I have no fucking clue what this is, but it’s called Gladiformers and it has a big, stupid-looking robot on the cover. I can’t even imagine how terrible it must be.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.