?Shaun’s “Ways D&D Characters Die” list got me reminiscing on my own RPG days, and how stupid they were. I wasn’t the most awful player, but when I was bad, I was pretty damn bad. Once, I got tired of my DM’s plot, so I convinced my fellow player character to make a list of all the NPCs we’d ever met — kings, guards, shopkeepers, random travelers we’d met on the road, everyone in every tavern we stopped in… whatever. This list of names had 50 or so NPCs on it, and we murdered about 35 of ’em before our DM angrily had one of the gods smite us. It was fun, but it couldn’t properly be called “role-playing.”
So that’s this weekend’s contest — give me your worst role-playing moments, but only in an RPG setting (no tales from the boudoir, please). Now, I did run a contest about your most shameful RPG moments more than a year ago, but this is different — first of all, most of those shameful moments happened outside the game, and second, being a horrible role-player is not necessarily shameful at all. I’m looking for games that you forced totally off-script, horribly unnatural violence you committed, and moments of phenomenal stupidity — basically, anything that made you laugh but your gamemaster fume.
I’ll be awarding two shirts for the best stories, whatever I judge those to be. One entry per person, contest ends at 12:01 am EST on Monday, April 5th. Have a great weekend, folks, and if you see Officer Dogg, please, tell him thanks for keeping our streets safe from rapist/chipmunks.