And Now, By the Power Programmed In Me, I Pronounce You Meatbag and Meatbag


Japan has created a robot that can marry people called, I shit you not, called the I-Fairy. It married Tomohiro Shibata and Satoko Inoue in Tokyo this past weekend; supposedly both the bride and groom work in the robotics industry and were not forced to use a robot officiant by their evil, publicity-seeking company CEOs at the risk of losing their jobs. Or, to sum up this story more succinctly, “JAPAN STILL BEING JAPAN.” I can’t decide if when the robot uprising happens if it’ll be better to be in Japan, getting married to random strangers and peed on by robot babies, or in America, where you’ll get killed by Terminators, but it will be mercifully quick and ungoofy. Thanks to everyone who sent this tip in.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.