I’m pretty picky about my condiments. I enjoy most mustards and butter, but I think mayonnaise is gross and ketchup is the devil’s condiment. So I’m totally disgusted by this video for the SWITL, a device which seemingly picks up viscous fluids and puts them back down again with no muss or fuss, as demonstrated repeatedly with a vomit-inducing ketchup/mayo mixture. Obviously, cleaning up messes is always a good idea, but I’m not sure why it’s so important that you set the messes back down again — it seems kind of counter-productive. And while it works wonderfully on a smooth surface, I have to think something more malleable — like, say, a hamburger bun, which is probably the only thing I’d ever need ketchup and mayo removed from — would just get smooshed by the SWIT, rendering it useless.
All that said, I give this thing three months before it starts being used behind-the-scenes in the Japanese porn industry. You know why. Thanks to ZADL for the tip.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.