The Tangled Web of Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark

? Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark officially opens today. No, really. After only 199 days since the first preview performance, and a mere nine years since Marvel first announced the musical. So the Spidey musical and Duke Nukem Forever both finally, officially came out on the same day. That’s so unbelievably fucked up.

? Believe it or not, I’m not going to talk shit about the rejiggered musical. I’ll just let you watch the 5-minute preview above and let you draw your own conclusions. I recommend everyone, at the very least, check out the Green Goblin’s song, beginning at about 2:40, if only to check out the villain costumes. Thanks to John M. for the tip.

? Here’s Bono and the Edge being horrible douchejuicers while discussing the musical on Good Morning America. They also admit the first version of the musical sucked horrible ass and totally throw Julie Taymor under the bus. Not that Taymor isn’t partially responsible, of course, but it’s not like Bono and Edge didn’t have ample time — years even — to say something to Taymor if they had problems with her “vision” before everybody panned the damn thing.

? Here’s a shockingly boring song from the musical as performed at the Tony Awards. No, wait — I was going to not say anything and let you judge it for yourselves. Shit. Oh well.

? Here’s Neil Patrick Harris seeing how many Turn Off the Dark jokes he can tell in 30 seconds. Like all good folk, I love NPH, but the jokes suck. Of course, everyone involved in the Tony Awards is worried that the show will end up being a hit and are now afraid to talk shit about it just in case, so that didn’t help.

? Happily, that didn’t stop Sesame Street from making fun of the Spider-Man musical. Let me repeat: EVEN SESAME STREET THINKS THE SPIDER-MAN MUSICAL IS HILARIOUS. That’s the best thing ever. Tw things: I’m incredibly glad Grover stars, and 2) if someone ever gets the Sesame Street toy license again, I will buy one million muppet Bono action figures and give them to every single Topless Robot reader. Just on principle. Thanks to everyone for the tip.