Comics, Movies

Avengers: Earth’s Massive-est Spoilers

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NOTE: ALL SPOILERS, NOT OF WHICH ARE CONFIRMED, ARE AFTER THE JUMP. THIS VIDEO IS PERFECTLY SAFE — it’s a short clip from the scene where Thor asks Cap if he’s ready for another bout, mostly after hitting Loki’s baddies with cars, and it’s awesome. Hit the jump if you want to know three major things that might possibly happen in the movie which are totally spoilers… if they’re true.


All right, you were warned. Here are the three rumors I’m hearing the most consistently:

? The aliens are Chitauri.

No real surprise there. The Chitauri are of course the Skrull-like aliens from the Ultimates comic which provide a convenient alien army for Loki without stepping on the toes of the actual Skrulls, who may be tied up in the Fantastic Four movie license (I don’t really know why this would be, or why Marvel would limit the Skrulls to the FF at any point, but whatever). Note: I think it’s important for Loki to have an alien army — it really opens up the space aspect of the Marvel movie-verse in a way that more Norse bad guys wouldn’t.

? Loki kills Agent Coulson.

As the only expendable hero in the cast, the chances of Coulson dying were always pretty good, and with Joss Whedon and his penchant for killing off beloved side characters, I imagine Coulson made out his will the day after Whedon signed his contract. Fucking Joss Whedon.

? Thanos appears after the credits.

Apparently Loki gets his Chitauri army from some alien, and that alien has a brief conversation with Thanos as the post-credits stinger, setting up Avengers 2.

Now, here’s why all of these might not be true: most of the “spoilers” seem to be coming from ComicBookMovie.com, which has a track record of about 18% accuracy when it comes to these sorts of things. When you remember that the Coulson Dies and Thanos rumors have literally been floating around for more than a year or two, well, let me just point out that CBM really isn’t saying anything new. Now, maybe the fact that the rumors have been around so long means something in and of itself, but right now, at the moment, I’ve not seen or heard from anyone I 100% on the matter of Avengers spoilers. So take these things with about a tablespoon or salt, is what I’m saying.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.