Hello, folks! I’m back, and feeling much better. I apologize for getting sick and denying you both the 8 or so minutes of entertainment per day Topless Robot generally provides for you last Thursday, as well as the 15 or so minutes of self-loathing and the weekend’s justification of alcohol abuse created by Fan Fiction Friday. Thank you all for being patient with me, and thank Chris Cummins for filling in for me so ably.
Unfortunately, my turmoils aren’t quite over. Since I got so sick so suddenly, I had to delay my move to this upcoming weekend. I know you don’t give a shit, but this means:
? Chris will be covering for me again on Friday
? I’ll be off Monday for Memorial Day like all freedom-luvin’ Amurrrrrrricans
? Shit will finally return to normal on Tuesday, May 29th (assuming Comcast doesn’t fuck me at some point)
Of course, none of this matters to you knuckleknobs except:
? There will be an FFF on this Friday
So there. Again, my apologies for all the craziness, but give me one more week and we should be all clear and I’ll get back to bitching about everything and hating Nintendo/all videogames (I forget which I’m supposed to do).
Anyways, I can’t think of a better way to start my return than with “A One-Winged Office,” which is Random Encounters’ finest moment, in my opinion. I was thinking of giving you the original Latin used in Sephiroth’s “One-Winged Angel” them — a lot of it from Orff’s “Carmina-Burana” — and the translation, but then I remember I just got back; maybe I can wait to have you guys loathe me until this afternoon or something.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.