The Total Recall Remake Isn’t Even Trying Anymore

The original Total Recall is a fine, fun movie. It didn’t and doesn’t particularly need to be remade, but I’ve been trying to give the remake the benefit of the doubt. I mean, i’s a sci-fi flick, and now it can take advantage of today’s CG, plus, Kate Beckinsale’s backside in 3-D. I wouldn’t say either of those things are desperately necessary, but I could see them making Total Recall v2 fun enough to be worth watching instead of totally meaningless. But then I see clips like this:

Clips where all the new Total Recall movie can do is “Remember how crazy this scene was in the first Total Recall movie? Well, here’s a much more boring version of it, but with more action, so we’re hoping you don’t notice.” Sigh.
On the other hand, if the new Total Recall v2 ends with Arnold Schwarzenegger coming out of the original Recall machine, the whole new movie having been a Recall dream, I’ll be giving it five stars on priniple alone.