Movies

The Total Recall Remake Isn’t Even Trying Anymore

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The original Total Recall is a fine, fun movie. It didn’t and doesn’t particularly need to be remade, but I’ve been trying to give the remake the benefit of the doubt. I mean, i’s a sci-fi flick, and now it can take advantage of today’s CG, plus, Kate Beckinsale’s backside in 3-D. I wouldn’t say either of those things are desperately necessary, but I could see them making Total Recall v2 fun enough to be worth watching instead of totally meaningless. But then I see clips like this:

Clips where all the new Total Recall movie can do is “Remember how crazy this scene was in the first Total Recall movie? Well, here’s a much more boring version of it, but with more action, so we’re hoping you don’t notice.” Sigh.
On the other hand, if the new Total Recall v2 ends with Arnold Schwarzenegger coming out of the original Recall machine, the whole new movie having been a Recall dream, I’ll be giving it five stars on priniple alone. 

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.