Yes, Darth Vader Statues Just Got Really Cute


There was a time in my life when I would have rage, rage, raged against the dying of the darkness in Star Wars, such as it was. Why, the mere concept of turning the guy who’s basically space-Hitler into a loving dad…on the one hand, I guess that’s actually what the ending of Return of the Jedi means. On the other hand…SHUT UP!

Anyway, Vader already got cutified in the humorous cartoon books Darth Vader & Son and Vader’s Little Princess, so like every form of Star Wars ever, of course they’re getting merchandise – the perfect gifts to give dads when you want to tell them they’re tyrannical maniacs who should stop choking you, but you love them anyway and know there is still good in them.

You get the books too. $150 for each 10-inch maquette with its respective tome, which actually means forget about your kid saving up any degree of rebel allowance for it. Moms, here’s where you come in – just buy one of these for your guy and say the kid did it. Then when he tells you these aren’t canon, tell him that arguments that ultra-nerdy rarely get anyone laid, and besides, George Lucas’ kids will CGI these scenes into the movies someday and he’d better get used to the idea starting now.