Perhaps I should have specified that you can only win this contest once. Because we had one entrant in particular who went for such total saturation bombing that I can only assume he was trying for all three victory slots. This was a tough one…
Your assignment was to pitch a sequel to the Steven Spielberg War of the Worlds.
Your second and third place winners are:
At #2: Citrus_King
Having been beaten back by a bunch of humans with peashooters and a sniffle, the Martians look to other galaxies for planets to invade and subjugate. They soon find the perfect world: Equis, a world just as bountiful and rich as Earth, if not more so.
Its dominate species is genetically more distant from the Martians then the humans were, so the invasion force won’t even have to worry about local viruses.
But what the Martians don’t know is that the inhabitants are aided by a force far more dangerous to heartless would-be conquerors than the common cold, a power they have not had the misfortune of meeting in all their millions of years of destruction and evil.
The Power of Harmony.
At #3: bdcohen87
Whichever bacteria was powerful enough to stop a global alien invasion dead in its tracks doesn’t take that long to mutate and kill humanity. Because seriously, those aliens had been hiding ships on Earth for how long? They weren’t THAT unprepared. Dakota Fanning continues to scream. A lot.
And at #1, Gallen “Man of a Million Entries” Dugall, for this one.
With his life’s work of crediting every event in human history to extraterrestrial intervention no longer valid in the wake of alien invasion Giorgio A. Tsoukalos moves on to credit every event in human history to gnomes, but the meme never takes off.
Because about half the entries were his, here is a round-up of Gallen’s honorable mentions:
War of the Worlds 2
With the first wave of Martian invasion thwarted the second wave beings as the face on mars is revealed to in fact be a giant Martian, one of many who throw themselves across the void of space to do battle on the Earth. Mountainously large Martians devastate cities unchecked until the humans reveal their secret weapons Godzilla the old version, Gamera the giant flying monster turtle who is friend to children (he is made of turtle meat) and Jet Jaguar the size shifting super android (he jock it made of steel) and finally we can bring back ridiculous rubber suit monsters to the big screen. This will still be told through the intermittent perspective of Tom Cruise’s family who become increasingly jaded by the colossal destruction.
War of the Worlds 2
The Tom Cruise character wakes up and it was all a dream. This film begins by following him through his day as events constantly hint that the invasion he dreamed about is about to begin. After several over reactions to benign events Cruise is committed to a psychiatric institution where they use new techniques to study his obsession with the dream. Soon however the truth comes out as the institution is a front for the real alien invasion. They’ve been running invasion scenarios in select human minds (the best computers on the planet) when they sleep, for generations, carefully planning for every eventuality. Worse revelation still the dream simulation process gradually destroys the mind it is used on, each time he sleeps more of his sanity is lost. Cruise’s character was selected for his knowledge of logistics and now Cruise must escape and warn the world somehow all the while battling his own self-doubt at his own rapidly crumbling sanity.
“War of the Worlds 2: Batman”
because he’s Batman
“War of the Worlds 2: This Time It’s Personnel”
The surviving martians realizing that they’re beaten settle peacefully on the planet and run a temp agency. They’re really good at it. Eventually they gain a monopoly over the entire temporary employment industry. Unfortunately the common cold causes their entire work force to call in sick and the resulting lawsuits as they fail to meet their contracted obligations cause their business to go bankrupt.
The martians try again, this time the come to Earth inside a tornado… which doesn’t solve the original problem so it pretty much ends the same way, but think what you save in not having to hire writers, just swap the tornado thingies for the mecha thingies
And here are some non-Gallen HMs:
War of the Worlds 2…
The scene opens up mere days after the Martians leave Earth. Tom Cruise’s character goes out into the street, gets hit by a bus, and dies immediately.
Directed by Paul Verhoeven.
The humans reverse engineer the Martian technology and travel to Mars to wreak bloody vengeance. Unfortunately the entire expedition dies of Martian Pox. Finding something embarassing to bond over, the humans and the Martians make peace and agree to stick to their own planets from now on.
Then they team up to invade and destroy the Plutonians, because, they agree over a hearty laugh, “fuck those guys.”
War of the worlds 2 – a lot of their terraforming red stuff seeped into the earth and water supply. Years go by with the humans thinking they won, but they are slowly being mutated by the contaminated water and the earth is poisoned and dying. This is where Shia Lebeuf comes in, a young CDC scientist who discovers what is going on, because his girlfriend has a severe reaction to the mutation And he researches her dead body. He discovers the Martians long con and turning humans into slaves to terraform their own planet And the only cure is within the crust of mars. A team must be sent to Mars, using a reverse engineered ship, to collect a possible antidote and return to cure the human race. This would be a typical hollywood team of celebrities. Let’s say Shia goes, Dwayne the rock Johnson as a body guard, Elizabeth banks as a hot scientist, CGI Phillip Seymour Hoffman as pilot (too soon?) and Ron Perelman as another pilot/ mechanic. A big battle ensues and marines /army must be sent to help escort. One or two people make it back with the antidote but they find it only helps about half the population and the other half mutate more and must be exterminated before they fully turn. Eli Roth would be a great director for this and throw in a bunch of celebrities that had it and lost it like Shia to make the movie ironic and funny while being twisted and horribly awesome. You could leave it hangin for a third installment or have a final attack from the Martians while the humans are trying to exterminate the mutated and the humans lose , but there are groups of survivors that go underground while the aliens take over and transform the earth into an unlivable , red wasteland …but a handful of survivors adapted and head to the mothership to bring it all down . The aliens don’t see it coming and the network is shut down among the ships, and the alien empire on earth collapses. The survivors have no way of transforming the earth back, but there’s always time…
“Gentlemen, I propose a sequel. The best kind of sequel: not just the kind that’s already been written…
??…but one that’s in Public Domain. And has a fashionable subculture attached to it.??
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, the blockbuster of the 2015 movie season, straight from 1898…EDISON’S CONQUEST OF MARS!”??
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“…why not make it Tesla, instead?”??
“Marketing tie-in–we’re getting a sweet deal with ConEd. Besides, ‘word is The Asylum’s going to use him in their ripoff of ‘A Serbian Film.'”
“Yeah, totally. Sick freaks…hey, pass the blow, I think my buzz is starting to slip. And I’ve got six more franchise reboots to pitch before my parole hearing!” *snooort*
One’s a wisecracking, street-smart cop from New Jersey. The other is a giant, mechanical fighting machine from Mars. This unlikely duo is partnered together after the police chief’s niece was found brutally murdered. In order to solve this baffling case, they must try to overcome their differences and learn to work together as a team. Maybe, just maybe, somewhere along the way they can find the meaning of friendship and discover what it truly means to be “brothers”.
From John Badham, the director who brought you Short Circuit, Another Stakeout and Saturday Night Fever, comes…
War of the Worlds 2: Tripod & Cash.
With memorable scenes such as… Cash riding the Tripod (nicknamed ShortStack) bucking bronco-style through the streets of New York, during a high-speed car chase.
ShortStack getting drunk at the station Christmas party and urinating corrosive acid (one leg up like a dog) on the Commissioner’s classic ’67 Shelby.
ShortStack befriending a cold, wet, stray kitten by gently petting the animal with his massive tentacles. He then tries, against his better judgement, to dry off the kitten using his Heat-Ray.
Shia LaBeouf as Cash and Will Smith as the voice of ShortStack.
Rated G, for God help anyone who would pay to see this drivel. In IMAX and 3D this Christmas.
Years have passed since the invasion, most of the world is left uninhabitable. Governments commission that ‘Mega-Cities’ be built to protect people from what people now call the Cursed Earth. Crime is high in one particular, Mega-City One. The Justice Department commissions the Judges to be judge, jury, and if need, executioner. One judge in particular, Judge Hermon liked to wear a tuxedo in his off hours, and entertain his friend ‘Cowboy Morpheus’. Judge Hermon hears an alarm and looks outside… “Someone stole my bike…”
… Also Tom Cruise dies immediately after the first movie ends.
Paul Reubens as Judge Hermon
Laurence Fishburne as Cowboy Morhpeus
Directed by Paul Verhoeven
Winners, please email me your contact info to claim your prizes.