I think April Fool’s should just give it up as a holiday. None of yesterday’s hoaxes were this goddamn stupid.
Before you start writing a catty comment about how Play-Doh isn’t a movie and Hollywood has run out of ideas, remember it’s the same one you wrote when Warner Bros began planning movies based on LEGO.
No. NO. Fuck you for saying that. Lego had branded video games and a Ninjago cartoon that evinced a particular family friendly, irreverent sensibility that the movie delivered on, and ALL OF US who PAID FUCKING ATTENTION knew was part of the brand from the getgo in terms of the short films and entertainment they put out.
Did I miss some brilliant Play-Doh short or video game I’m not aware of? Seriously. Enlighten me if I did. Because all I know is that it’s cheap, gross plasticine that stupid kids eat by accident. Aardman makes great movies out of plasticine, but they don’t fucking call them The Plasticine Movie. Paul Feig being attached is just confusing – doesn’t he have a Ghostbusters to finish, or, y’know, start?
Is it time for me to pitch Lincoln Logs, starring Kevin Costner as a big piece of wood? I think it is.