Video Games

Ron Paul Supporters Attacked by Fish-men

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Ron_Paul_Photo_4.jpgI honestly thought Leonard Nimoy’s photo exhibit of naked fat women would be the weirdest thing I heard all day, but I was wrong. So, so wrong. The Village Voice (or, as I like to call it, “Big Daddy”) has run a story about Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul’s campaign in…ahem…World of Warcraft.

Basically, Ron Paul-loving WoW players (!) decided to organize a march/assault through the game’s fantasy-land, to raise awareness about Paul’s Libertarian views (!!!). The article is peppered with mind-shatteringly awesome sentences, such as:

The marchers chanted slogans as they boarded the tram for the human city Stormwind, and then it was on to the hamlet of Goldshare. Because she had pumped up her character to level 19, Lettuce B-Free was too busy fighting off flesh-rippers and other random beasties to look back on the crowd.

It gets so much better:

But soon Paul’s supporters stumbled into more dangerous territory, and as fish-human hybrids tore the players to pieces, priest characters frantically worked their resurrection spells to keep the crowd from breaking apart.

And my personal favorite:

Poisonous snakes slithered from crevices and sank their fangs into libertarians.

Now I’m off to the liquor store to buy more scotch.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.