Miscellaneous, Toys

TR Contest: The Worst Thing You Ever Did to a Toy

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TortureRackHan.jpg

It’s been a rough week at Topless Robot. The cracks are starting to show in the Watchmen facade. There’s a giant evil unicycle in Transformers 2. The Lord of the Rings kids were miffed by by lack of Tolkien knowledge, then I pissed off one of the Whitest Kids U Know. Plus, I read a fan fiction where a man takes a Pok?mon as his own, personal sex slave — I’ve said too much.

So now it’s time for me to heal while you all feel awful. I want confessions — confessions of the most evil thing you ever did to an action figure, vehicle or playset (yours or someone else’s). No actual trauma like last time — if I get genuinely sad reading your tale, then you’re disqualified. But you cry, and I laugh, then that’s fine.

As always, the rules are here, and the contest ends on Monday the 23rd at 3 am, EST. I’m expecting plenty of fireworks and burial tales, but I’m hoping for more. Show me you guys
are truly the twisted bastards I’ve suspected you of being.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.