Fan Fiction Friday: Aayla Secura and Naruto in “Kyuubified Jedi Inquisitor”

?Before we begin, let me acknowledge the fuck elephant in the room — The Other Story obviously did not scar you nearly as much as it did me. I promise I posted it with the utmost sincerity; for whatever reason, no other FFF has wrecked me as much as that one (even The Pok?mon Story pales in comparison, to me, at least) but obviously, many of you disagree. So I’ve had to rethink the way I do FFF, and based on the input of many TR readers, my own thoughts, and the advice of some religious cartoon bunnies, I’ve decided to stop trying to find the most horrible fan fics ever, and just post the weirdest. It makes sense on a lot of levels: 1) many people don’t want to read the horrifying fan fics; 2) I clearly have a different criteria of what’s horrifying from many readers; and 3) trying to find these depraved fan fics has been making me want to kill myself anyways. So there we go.

Now, please rest assured that FFF will remain at least partially soul-crushing; I’m still game for tales of armies of gibbering cock-monsters raping the students of Hogwarts, but basically if it’s not entertainingly horrible, I’ll give it a miss. But enough about last week; it’s time to move forward, but while remembering the majestic FFFs of times past. This is why I’ve chosen to select a story from one of my favorite FFF authors, Godzilla. You might remember him as the auteur behind the epic Godzilla/Lion King crossover. Well, he sent a chapter of his newest work to me personally, and I’d be a cad if I didn’t run it. The magic begins on the next page.

Ol’ Godzilla only sent me chapter four of this story, but I’m not sure how much clearer reading the first three chapters would have actually made things.

Chapter Four: The two pronged
domination of Aayla Secura crimson fox-zilla style!

Location: The
main Bay of the class Imperial Star Destroyer Inquisition in Orbit over
the dead planet of Devaron-Colonies Region-Devaron Sector

Aayla enraged and covered in demonic mucus lashed out with the dark
side attacking Kyuubified Naruto(Kyuubi has been letting Naruto use his
body for practice and to see how well his Apprentice can perform as the
new Kyuubi) with force lightning. this other then amusing the Kyuubified
shinobi no effect on Naruto whom laughs and rolls over onto his back
exposing his now not erect Lambda shuttle size(from wing tip to wing
tip) penis to her shocked and horrified eyes the big boulder sized balls
did not help nor did the lust filled eyes which made her realize what
he wanted.

See? Aayla Secura is covered in demonic mucus, and Naruto — in his giant magic fox demon body — has a penis the size of the Imperial spaceship Han, Luke and Leia used to sneak onto Endor. All caught up!

When she heard him tell her to pleasure him the now broken
and sobbing mucus covered Jedi just nodded and slowly removed her
clothing fully aware that the appraising eyes of this Demon called
Naruto was giving her slime covered body. As soon she was naked she
moved slowly and sadly towards his terrifying tools and as she got
closer and closer she could smell his arousal

Well, he’s a fox with a dick the size of a spaceship. I’m sure that smells like something.

Suddenly the sounds of an Lambda class shuttle was heard and as
shuttle landed both Naruto and his tenet recognized the aura of an very
annoyed lust filled dominant female and when the shuttle opened and the
grinning Crimson came out he saw that the Grand Inquisitor was dressed
once again in her dominatrix outfit and carrying a thorny whip that he
had used on her during their fun time back in the Citadel inquisitorius.

First off, in case you’re not up on the finer points of the EU, Grand Inquisitors hunt down potential Force users for the Emperor. The Star Wars wiki does not specifiy they are all BSDM-obsessed leather fetishists, but it doesn’t say they aren’t, either. Second, try and diagram that sentence, I fucking dare you. Third, what the fuck is with this obsession with Lambda-class spaceships, Godzilla? It’s getting disturbing, and that’s even beyond the fact this is about two Star Wars characters having sex with giant anime fox.

He was not at all surprised when he saw the girl lick her lips when she
saw the blue skinned size 40 Twi Lek woman starting to climb up his
furry side and reach the peak of balls and cock that awaited his new
naked Jedi slave

I mean, who wouldn’t be turned on by a blue woman climbing boulder-sized animal testicles? It only stands to reason. 

Crimson had always fantasized of the day she would have Aayla Secura
at her beck and call but until now she had thought that this would
remain a dream and nothing more but not only has her dream been
fulfilled she gets to play with her atop the peak of manliness her
fantasy man and master has right now.

Crimson, honey, I hate to break it to you, but if you both have to service Naruto, Aayla’s not exactly at your beck and call, is she? At best, she’s just kind of “Assistant to the Regional Manager.”

Oh the things I can do thought the
Grand inquisitor blowing the panting apprentice demon king, (he
informed her about everything before leaving obviously this fact
delighted the as of now dominant female of Naruto’s curent harem ) a
kiss and walking seductively towards both of her targets/ playmates/ bed
buddies.

ProTip: If you’re using the phrase “blowing a kiss” in your story, try not to have 25+ words between “blowing” and “a kiss.” Otherwise your audience might get confused. Also, I assume “bed buddies” refers to Naruto’s bean-bag chair-like balls.

As she started to climb the apprentice fox demon’s side she began to
formulate a “Strategy” for this promising session of erotic delight.
Upon getting to the pink zone as she decided to call it she began to
slow her pass and pressed her body against the pink cushion while grope
climbing and tongue lapping her way up.

You know, I’m actually impressed. I have absolutely no fucking clue what the author means by “pink zone.” I don’t have the faintest idea which part of Naruto’s genitalia is involved. Given how many, many names there are for all naughty parts of the body, and how even the insane ones are usually pretty clear (“milk junkies,” anyone?) to be able to use a phrase that is both totally vague and yet still dirty is a genuine feat.

This got the desired results as
her “mountain” quaked from both her own administrations and that of her
masters new slave’s both where obviously “pleasing” him greatly for he
began to quiver, thrash, moan and twitch in place giving her an new idea
now she began to ever so slowly sway her body back and forth as she got
closer thus by the time she got to the top of the “peak” Mt Naruto-hood
erupted spraying cum all over the bay as she watched it spray all over
his furry chest and pour down his fallen peak of she thought that if
she had her way this would be the first of many “eruptions” to come and
for her and that literally slimy(she wonders briefly how she so slimy )
cum covered slut Secura would be the first of many delightful showers
and drinks.

Sing with me, won’t you?
On top of Naruto
All covered with cum
How she so slimy
God please kill me now

Not bad for an Jedi comments the Grand Inquisitor as she
watches Aayla lick the top of the leaning cock tower of pink vile with
increasing enthusiasm as her will is obviously broken making Crimson
laugh out loud knowing that at this pace Aayla will soon be theirs.

Yes, Crimson, you’ve sure “gotten” Aayla. You’ve really “shown her.”

None of them(save Naruto’s very impressed tenet) noticed that Fleet
Admiral Jaine Proudmore had entered the room and the sexy red heads
reactions where in the following order. First she nearly fainted, second
she not believing what she was seeing tried to wake herself up from
whatever crazy dream was going on, third realizing that this was not a
dream she began to way in her options in the end choosing to join.

As anyone would do, of course. FYI, I thought that Jaine Proudmore might be another EU character, but it turns out she’s from World of Warcraft. So presumably she’s more used to walking into semen-coated rooms to find various women pleasuring a giant fox.

Four
she was inexperienced in the ways of pleasuring men of any species so as
she began to ascend Mt Furry Demon’s Peak she decided the let what must
be the two woman on top teach her the ways of sex and naughtiness. Now
that she was at the top the sight that awaited her both answered one
question but raised another.

“Am I really trying to learn about sex by climbing to the top of a giant fox penis and seeking instructions from the women who are already there? Wouldn’t it have made more sense to read a book or something?”

She had to her pleasant surprise what became of the Jedi whom like
the rest of the imperials always assumed was a slut was now being
dominated by ‘ is that crimson?’ she thought in awe as her apparently
dominating and darkly beautiful role model was obviously the one in
charge of this event. She was also to an great extent was also in charge
of how well the Furry one (whom seems to have noticed her via smell as
his ears perk up) gets pleasured and how to an much greater he will get
that pleasure and the Role that blue skinned slut and likely herself
well play in pleasuring him and each other.

?Not at what’s happening. Just at the sentence construction.

Suddenly a furry tail
reached at lightning speed across the room towards her position and
before she could blink not only grabbed her but put her in front of his
face so he could most likely see her body and appraise it. However what
nobody save crimson whom perked her head in curiosity even as she pushed
Aayla’s body roughly against the side of the newly re aligned top side
of Mt Naruto hood and gave her orders to wrap her “slutty arms” around
his massive penis and grope its surface and then Aayla was spanked by
the Grand Inquisitors strong hands.

Suddenly the Grand Inquisitor called
to her side her thorny whip which she had called to her side curtsy of
the force and switched from spanking to enthusiastically whipping
Aayla’s bountiful blue ass.(why was this not mentioned earlier? well
when she earlier reached the cocked leg of Kyuubified Naruto she called
said whip to her side via the force and just when it was inches away
from her hands she skillfully maneuvered it to where the pink zone met
Naruto’s furry stomach).

Because of all the many questions you might have had about this story, wondering how and when Crimson the Grand Inquisitor got her thorn whip was obviously #1.

Suddenly on the metal surface of the hanger’s
floor something strange happened wherever Naruto’s semen millions of
locust like critters emerged from what seemed to be an purple bio mass
and with the exception of an Curious Crimson nobody noticed the ever
increasing amounts of dark clouds until they could actually hear and see
both the microscopic parasites and notice the purple bio mass creeping
up the walls as it engulfed the main hanger completely

OH SHIT THE CRYPTOPHALLIDS HAVE MADE IT INTO SPACE AAAAAAAAAAAA

Alas, that’s the end of the chapter and all Godzilla sent to me, so we may never know what the deal is with Naruto’s purple sperm locusts. However, the story isn’t quite done; my favorite part about Godzilla’s work is the way he includes theme music for his characters, and “Kyuubified Jedi Inquisitor” is no different. Also this theme music is always also the theme music for a professional wrestler. Behold:

The theme song for this Naruto’s personality is Randy Orton’s voices
theme song which of course belongs to world wrestling entertainment and
its genius of a chairman Vincent Kennedy McMahon

I hear voices
in my head
They come to me
They understand
They tell me things that I will
do
They show me things I’ll do to you
They talk to me, they talk
to me!

You got your rules and your religion
All designed to
keep you safe
But when rules start getting broken
You start questioning your faith

I have a voice that is my savior
Hates to love and loves to
hate
I have the voice that has the knowledge
And the power to
rule your fate

I hear voices crying
I see heroes dying
I taste the blood
that’s drying
I feel the tension rising

[Chorus]

All
the lawyers are defenseless
All the doctors are disease
And the
preachers all are sinners
And the police just take the grease
All you judges you are guilty
All
the bosses I will fire
All you bankers will have losses
And
politicians are all liars

Tell me if you think this theme song
describes This Kyuubified Naruto’s personality well i honestly dont care
what your opinion on this songs story combatibily are but considering
Naruto’s very Loose personality and dark opinion on life i personaly
feel that it fits his personality well

Godzilla, I think this song exemplifies the giant fox demon and his penchant for forcing Star Wars and World of Warcraft characters to tend to his pink zone perfectly. Also his dark opinion on life,.