Green Lantern Twitters: And the Winners Are…


?Since I’m already so late with this, and even I’m tired of talking about Green Lantern at this point, please forgive me if I don’t have much of an introduction here. Although you shouldn’t let that make you think there wasn’t some hilarious shit in this Tweets from the Green Lantern-verse contest, because there certainly were — even figuring out just the Honorable Mentions was a bitch, albeit a delightful bitch. Seriously, I think the Twitter TR contests are my favorite, even more than the haiku contests.

Of course, I’d like to thanks for sponsoring this past weekend’s contest and offering four Hal Jordan Green Lantern Movie Masters figures for the winners! Please don’t forgot to check out their site, as well as their daily deals on toys and collectibles. Now, let those who worship evil’s might, uh… hit the jump, I guess.

These honorable mentions got me all emotional! And that emotion… was WILLPOWER.


RyanAluminumWrap: @TheWorld Need a time machine so I can go back and do Deadpool and not GL. FML


TKordBB: @TheGreatestGuy One Punch! #onepunch (cc: @BoosterG)


Maj0rForc3: @Maytagcare you guys need to make roomier fridges.


greenlanternqt: n britest day n blakest nite no evil shal xcape my site let thos who wrshp evils mite bware my power green lanterns lite

Dandy Warhol:

GIJohnStewart: God damn when I said there should be some more Black Lanterns I didn’t mean @BlackHandJob and all them zombie fucks. #hateDC

Wes Grogan:

SuperG’Nort: Day 3,294. Still haven’t gotten call to the Big Leagues. I know the League is rebuilt, just matter of time now. Matter of time.


GotMyMogoWorking: Tired of people complaining that I don’t follow them back. I don’t socialize.

Sum Ellis Ock:


GLKRart:@WarriorGuy @GLJstewart check out this pic of @GLHalJordan


[email protected] -HR received another sexual harrassment complaint. She is a sentient Skunk Jordan WTF!

Sinestro @BigBlueBoss-two week notice in. I look better in yellow.

Adam Tupper:

@ GLPlayboyHal : Anyone know how to unwill a construct? One got…stuck.
@ GLDailyShow : @ GLPlayboyHal Stuck?!? Just relax and it will go away.
@ GLPlayboyHal : @ GLDailyShow I CAN’T relax…not until I finish.
@ GLDailyShow : @ GLPlayboyHal GROSS. Somedays I wish you were still dead.
@ GLPlayboyHal : @ GLDailyShow Problem solved. Thought of Katma Tui.


GoGoMogo: Just teabagged Oa. Blamed it on Gravity. Suck it Guardians!

LittleBlueMen: attention all lanterns, Casual Fridays will be revoked due to sector 2814’s insistence on wearing the uniforms of different lantern corps.


HawkLady47:@ NotTheHostStewart Seriously who’s favorite movie is Old Yeller? WTF?
Vixxxen12: @HawkLady47 and have you seen his sock drawer?

Hostile V:

AirJordan: @DarkKnight Can’t stop watching that Youtube vid of you punching Gardner in slow motion. Props to @ManofSteel for shooting it like a pro!


KILLERWOG: OMG Just found the best waffles in Vega System! YOU POOZERS DON’T KNOW!

mommakryb: #sinestrocorps I need a night off, anyone want to babysit?

The Chu:

ArisiaCutie: WTF There’s a legal age countdown site for me? Dude, I’m in my mid-200s. Even if I were 13, that’s pretty gross. #dontmakemethenexthermione


CHPLantern: Cha cha. Chip squeak chitter squeak squeak chitter cha…

SURabin: Still dead. “Blackest Night” my magenta ass.


HalJordan: In brightest day, in blackest night, No evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil’s might, Beware my power: Green Lantern’s lig


HighballHal: Anyone know if we have a Marvel crossover coming up? I have oficcially had sex with every female superhero in the DCU
HighballHal: Actually nevermind looks like we’re getting a reboot, better callup @huntress in case she reverts to being Batmans daughter.

AtrociouslyDelicious: RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEE about lebrons playing in the finals

Labour_Arrow: @GLHal_Air_Jordan 24% on RT? What’s the opposite of a bullseye?
GLHal_Air_Jordan: @Labour_Arrow Guess we can’t all have Goyer scripts like Super Max. Or movies that never came out, like Super Max


GreatScottGL: what is in soy milk
GreatScottGL: granny goodness swimsuit pictures
GreatScottGL: metamucil vodka smoothie
JadeEmpress: @Obsidiot, did you tell Dad that Twitter is a search engine?
GreatScottGL: why is the twitter not working

Obsidiot: @GreatScottGL, Hey Dad, @JadeEmpress wants you to throw her a lemon party #pwnd #bwahaha

Jaime A. Garcia:

AirHalJordan: Buried #describeyourpeniswithamovie

David Fleming:

GraxosIVLife: Can you believe? Got carded AGAIN! 15 yr old? Try 246! FML


Kill’O’Wog: Gotta attend court 2day, female recruit misunderstood what ‘poozer’ meant, facing sexual misconduct lawsuit.


K-RayGL: They killed Ned? NOT COOL GoT- I hate when characters get killed for no reason…

El Gostro:

Kyle: Taking commissions! Check my DA page,no yiffing!

Flash Fact:

Larfleeze: Hey @HighballJordan, all 140 of these characters are mine! #notyoursmineyouhearme #mine


BlueRing: @GLHal What do you hope for?
GLHal: @BlueRing: What do I HOPE for? I HOPE you’ll get the F off my finger and stop cockblocking my ring constructs, you bastard!

RaynerArt: Hi, I’m Kyle. And I’ve got a lot of dead girlfriends. #WIRAnonymous
DoubleDareDevil: @RaynerArt Hi, Kyle. #WIRAnonymous
Otacon: @RaynerArt Hi, Kyle. #WIRAnonymous
SniktBub: @RaynerArt Hi, Kyle. #WIRAnonymous
007HMSS: @RaynerArt Hi, Kyle. #WIRAnonymous
JEEEEEEEAAAAAAAN: @RaynerArt Hi, Kyle. #WIRAnonymous
007HMSS: @JEEEEEEEAAAAAAAN GTFO, Shyclopsh! It doeshn’t count if it’sh all the shame girrl multiple timesh. Plush, you’re boffing Emma Frosht, now.

Christopher Holden:

MajorForceOfHabit: Hey @GreenAlleyRat what’s the difference between ten pounds of steak, and a dead girlfriend?
GreenAlleyRat: @MajorForceOfHabit Idk, what?
MajorForceOfHabit: @GreenAlleyRat You don’t have ten pounds of steak in your freezer.
GreenAlleyRat: :O WTF!!!!?!!!……….
GreenAlleyRat: @MajorForceOfHabit Fuck. You took all my steaks didn’t you?
MajorForceOfHabit: @GreenAlleyRat 😉


PrettyFlyForAGuyGuy : hey guys my twitter got hacked
PrettyFlyForAGuyGuy : those pics? totally not me
PrettyFlyForAGuyGuy : trust me, ask around. plenty of people have seen the real deal
YourPalHal : @ PrettyFlyForAGuyGuy did you just get out of the pool in that pic?
YourPalHal : @ PrettyFlyForAGuyGuy must have been pretty cold
PrettyFlyForAGuyGuy : you know what, hal? fuck you
MustacheMadeForSin : maybe if your password wasn’t always ‘jugs’


MrMogoRisin: @PlanetEarth Hey, you sweet blue thing. Got some serious wood for you:
MrMogoRisin: @PlanetEarth Shit! That was supposed to be a DM! I have nearly unlimited cosmic power and I can’t delete one goddamn tweet?!

Greggory Basore:

JStew2814: I really wish people would stop mentioning that Beyonce song, I do not like it and I have no intention of putting a ring on it.


DastardlySinestro: @KilowagyWag In my defense, Bolovaxian blood makes a TERRIFIC mustache wax… U mad bro?

David Fleming:

OrangeUGlad: Guess who was the 100000th website visitor? I won a free iPad! I want it! I want it now! MINE!!


MyOAFace:Watching Str Trk TOS. Hmmm… orion slave girls were GREEN! Coincidence? I think not. Time to wear down the power ring. Dont judge me.


ChpSkwirl: @SqrrlGrlMarvel Hey bb next Amalgam, u + me? @RokkitRakoon 4 threesome? Call me bb, u want deeze nuts.

Der Thunder:

GrnLntrnHal: “Titanic” #DescribeYourPenisWithaMovie
GrnLntrnHal: “Robot Jox” #DescribeYourPenisWithaMovie
GrnLntrnHal: “I am Legend” #DescribeYourPenisWithaMovie
GrnLntrnHal: “Gladiator” #DescribeYourPenisWithaMovie
GrnLntrnHal: “The Naked Gun” #DescribeYourPenisWithaMovie
GrnLntrnHal: “Big” #DescribeYourPenisWithaMovie
CarolFerris: @GrnLntrnHal “Baby’s Day Out” #DescribeYourPenisWithaMovie




HalBSure: @DeezNutz No, Ch’p I don’t think Two Guys, A Squirrel and a Pizza Place would be a good title for a sitcom.

And now for the winners!


PonytailGaurdian: You shall have to do, @StarvingArtist #wearefucked

GrnEydMnstrKilowag: allgreenlanterns Earth . . .
IndigogoGurl: indigotribe Water . . .
StWalkerTexasRanger: bluelanterns Wind . . .
Atrocilicious: redlanterns Fire . . .
SinlessEstro: @YellowLanterns Heart . . .
CapnPlanet: @GrnEydMnstrKilowag @IndigogoGurl @StWalkerTexasRanger @SinlessEstro @Atrocilicious . . . fuck you all

DeWittless: WTF? @FerrisaXplainsItAll gets to be a Star Sapphire and I’m stuffed in a fridge and don’t even get ice powers?! #fuckDC #womaninrefridgoratorsyndrome

FerrisaXplainsItAll: For #StarSapphires being all about love we have some slutty fucking costumes :/

PlanetEarth: @GreenLanternMovie We don’t want a GL Sequel! your movie sucked!!!
GreenLanternMovie: @PlanetEarth Blake Lively in a CGI-pink-slut-costume.
PlanetEarth: @GreenLanternMovie . . . fine.

Honestly, I was ready to give Shilo a win purely for “FerrisaXplainsItAll,” but then he went and totally justified a Green Lantern movie sequel, too. Impressive. Most impressive.



GreenHal: Someone hacked my account last week. None of those messages were mine. Sorry everybody.
P4R411$X: @GreenHal: LOL


Ridureyu’s Dex-Starr tweet was the Reader’s Choice, but I’ll admit I’m even more delighted at the idea of Batman using emoticons.


GreenLanternPR: seriously, how is @captainhal still the main gl of sector 2814??? #massmurder #pedophilia #brainwashedandcrazy #parallax #whatthehellhero
CaptainHal: @GreenLanternPR To be fair, @SaucyMinxArisia aged herself up to hook up with me of her own volition.
SaucyMinxArisia: @GreenLanternPR earth man give good snoo-snoo. *tee-hee*
GreenLanternPR: @SaucyMinxArisia fuckin’ eww!
Ganthet_of_Oa: @CaptainHal @GreenLanternPR @SaucyMinxArisia I’ll allow it. Carry on.
ManhunterBot: @Ganthet_of_Oa See, that lax attitude is the kinda shit that made us revolt against you smurfy little bastards in the first place.

Did Lonestarr win solely because he called the Guardians “smurfy little bastards”? Yes. Absolutely. And I have zero problem with that.

Joshua Daniel:

BigMouthMerc: @HalBeBack saw the movie. @SnarkyStark called, he wants his playboy status and generic rock music back.
BigMouthMerc: @HalBeBack, @theGodamnBatman called, he wants his daddy issues back.
BigMouthMerc: @HalBeBack, @ThorBitches called, he wants his rainbow colors back.
BigMouthMerc: @HalBeBack, @LockeisLost called, he wants his smoke monster back.
BigMouthMerc: @HalBeBack, @HulkSmashTweets called, he wants his shoddy cgi back.
BigMouthMerc: @HalBeBack, @tweetingWebhead called, he wants his confused looking close-ups back.
BigMouthMerc: @HalBeBack, @JohnnyOnFire called, he wants his douchebag learns to fly scenes back.
BigMouthMerc: @HalBeBack, @ProfPimpX and @MagnetoKillsNazis called, you can keep the cardboard cutout eyecandy.
HalBeBack: @BigMouthMerc OK I GET IT!!!
BigMouthMerc: @HalBeBack if I punch myself in the face, will you feel it?

I don’t think I even need to explain this one.

Congrats to all the winners, and again, thanks to for sponsoring last weekend’s contest! To those of you who are desperately waiting for your chance to win a TR shirt again, you’re in luck — the next several contests should be business as usual. Feel free to email me some contest ideas if you’re so inclined. I’d greatly appreciate it.