R100 – One hates to second-guess Drafthouse Films, particularly when they release movies like this that no other American distributor would touch, and they send yours truly to a sex dungeon as part of their publicity outreach. But it nonetheless seems to me that they should have picked a release date following Fifty Shades of Grey, so they could tout their movie’s actual BDSM cred. Although for fairness’ sake, let it be said that the dominatrixes onscreen here violate safe consent laws just as much as Christian Grey does, and their “victim” is just as turned on by it. They also have super powers, like the ability to generate infinite amounts of spit and the power to swallow humans alive, thanks to the fact that the entire story is a movie within another movie about a hundred year-old film director who made what we see as his own personal fetish.
It’s an insane movie, from the director of the equally nutty kaiju parody Big Man Japan, and it cries out for supplemental material, but all you really get is a 12-page booklet and some trailers. For obvious reasons, this should fare better in the privacy of peoples’ homes than it did in theaters.
The Legend of Korra Book Four: Balance – For those who’ve been waiting to binge-watch the whole story, here is the final chapter of the steampunkish Avatar: The Last Airbender spinoff/sequel series.
Russell Madness – A talking monkey in a little hat (that’s one sale guaranteed to my wife already) trains a dog to become a pro-wrestler, in a movie that also stars ex-WWE star John Morrison, and a wrestling mummy. I guess if Roman Reigns can main-event WrestleMania, anything’s possible. From the makers of the Air Bud movies.
Dark Haul – Made-for-Syfy movie starring Tom Sizemore, in which a demon escapes from the back of an 18-wheeler trailer in which it is being transported. I can’t wait to forget it exists.
Don’t Go in the Woods – So R100 just gets a booklet, but a campy 1981 slasher best known for being on the UK’s infamous “Video Nasties” list gets a deluxe restoration, loaded with extras? What a world. I’m sure it’s fun, but with all the commentaries, featurettes and interviews you’d think this was some Criterion-level masterpiece. But I’m sure I’ll watch it more frequently than Birdman anyway.
White-Haired Witch – X-Men: Days of Future Past‘s Fan Bingbing plays the title character, unjustly framed for murder by a corrupt MIng Dynasty in a wire-fu laden wuxia fantasy, originally released in 3D. Critical and audience reception appears to have been mixed…but at least the star’s a Fan!
The Breakfast Club 30th Anniversary – As far as I can tell, this is the same disc previously packaged as the 25th anniversary version, but because most brick and mortar retail don’t order back-catalog Blu-rays or DVDs any more, this kind of gimmick is the only way to keep popular best-sellers on shelves. Jeez, it used to only take a theme song to ensure that we don’t don’t don’t forget about them.
So maybe not the biggest week today. Anything else you’re picking up?