The G.I. Joe Movie Hates You So Much
And finally, we end the morning movie news-apalooza (well, of all the news I had waiting in the TR inbox upon waking this morning) with this infinitely distressing news. I’ve been a bit harsh towards the live-action Joe movie in the past, what with the blonde Baronesses and the forced internationalism and the insane Duke/Cobra Commander-childhood-friends nonsense, but the one thing I couldn’t complain about was the casting. Ray Park as Snake Eyes? Good call. Dennis Quaid as Hawk? Great call. A woman with breasts as the Baroness? Fine. But now Mummy hack Stephen Sommers is doing his best to tarnish even that good point?Latino Review says that Brendan Fraser will be Gung-Ho and The Rock has been offered the role of the beloved Jack Nicholsonian Shipwreck. To recap.
And:
Really, Sommers? Really? The tragic thing is, if the roles were reversed, that wouldn’t be half bad. At least the hair/lack thereof would be correct.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.